3.5 year old fear of pooping on toilet

[Whichone2024]

Hello

I have a LO who is 3 and a half and afraid to poop on the toilet or potty.
My LO knows when a wee or poop is coming, some wees on the toilet, and some misses although for the most part tries to hold his wee, even on the toilet, unless he is wearing a pull up. He was wearing pants all day and I tried the catching when a poo was coming and placing him on toilet but he was sooooo upset like traumatised. There was a tiny bit left to come out and he cried that it came out in the toilet, and cried hysterically when we flushed it and kept crying that he didn’t like it and wanted his nappy back. And he found the whole things very upsetting So I put a pull up on.
even though he tried to hold his wee on the toilet he was not upset when he did manage one.
any advice on what is best to do now?
tia x

Have a look at Poo goes to Pooland on YouTube.
There will also be advice on the ERIC website.
Can be common to want to poo in a nappy or pull up. Sometimes the splashing is an issue.

Hi OP, up until fairly recently I was in a really similar position with my 4 year old.
When first potty training he had a poo on the potty that hurt him and ever since absolutely point blank refused. He never had any issues with wees but would only poo in a pull up.

About 6 months ago I got him to sit on the toilet and poo in the pull up while sitting on the loo and he was okay with that (took some convincing initially).
My next step was to cut a hole in the pull up but when I presented him with said pull up he lost his mind, really upset and distressed, so I chucked the pull up back in the drawer and didn’t think much more of it.

The next day he announced he needed a poo, I told him to go grab himself a pull up and tell me when he was finished. Only while he was sitting on the loo did it occur to me to question whenever he had picked up the holey pull up by mistake. Turns out he had, and when he realised, he was minority a bit unsure but then super proud of himself. Spent the next few weeks getting him used to pooping though a holey pull up.

We went for a weekend away a few weeks later and he ended up needing a poo when I didn’t have any pull ups and we were out and about, and he just did it on the loo and since then has never looked back. It’s just clicked and he’s happy to do it.
It caused so much stress and anxiety and if it hadn’t been for him accidentally grabbing the holey pull up that day I still think he’d be using a pull up.
Hope this helps or maybe gives you some ideas.

Oh thank you so much for this will check it out. X

Oh thank you will try the hole in the pull up bit first try sitting on toilet with normal pull up.
little one is refusing underpants altogether now do I feel I cause some trauma yesterday 😭
but will allow him to experience it all in a pull up for a while.
maybe some kids need more stages and for longer periods on the way to potty training.
I think it freaked him out that the poo was so separate from him!
thanks you x

We had this recently (and it’s still a work in progress but getting so much better) my nearly four year old would only poo at home in a pull up. He point blank refused the potty as he was apparently too old for that but wouldn’t sit on the loo for it either (fine for wee)

I got him to sit and try and do a poo recently and after making a few huffs and puffs he said he couldn’t do it as his ‘body isn’t working to sit and poo at the same time ’

Occurred to me later how tricky he was probably finding it with his feet not touching the floor.

we got a ‘poo ladder’ on Amazon. About £16. It fixes to the loo, he climbs up and sits on the little padded seat and rests his feet on the step. He finds it soooo much easier now and we’ve had quite a bit of success. He still needs persuading onto it rather than reaching for a pull up but he’s happy to sit and have a proper try now as he’s a lot more comfortable on the toilet.

Oh a poo ladder sounds great thanks!
yes I have wondered that sitting on the toilet is no the same as squatting lol.

I will look up poo ladders! X