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2 yo who slaps

1 reply

mercutio84 · 16/08/2025 16:51

Struggling with our 2yo.
Adopted him at 3 months old, medically well
For past year has been on and off biting, especially me and occasionally other children.
Seems to be slowly calming down with it and now only does it when overtired in which case we know to police him to try and prevent the biting:
Started slapping other kids past few weeks. Not in fights with them but if even in close proximity to them eg playground he just turns around and smacks them on face or back. Usually quite hard. He’s not in a bad mood necessarily and I don’t think hungry or necessarily tired when happens - very spontaneous. Feels like he had a lot of energy and has to get rid of it impulsively. Mortifying situation.

Went to a playground today and within one minute he had done it and even though I was apologetic to the mum and son apologised and then I took him out of playground, she came back to have another go at me.

He’s a really big 2 year old but I feel like it’s a 2 year old phase. I just hope he grows out of it soon as feel can’t take him to a playground and have to cancel playdates.

We have a 6yo who he can hit sometimes if they’re fighting. He also goes to nursery who have said he never does this there. Not sure if it’s fact I react to it? But impossible not to react when he’s hit another kid.

Wondered if any other parents have had to deal with this? Any words of wisdom?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
24Dogcuddler · 16/08/2025 17:17

What are his communication skills like? Could it be frustration?
Is it a reaction from you he is seeking? Or could he be looking for a reaction from the other child? This could be a yell or even tears. I once worked with a child who did this to see and track the tears on another child’s face. Another child would run towards and hit children who were crying or screaming as he didn’t like the sound.
A famous sensory expert describes her son hitting young children as he couldn’t stand the unpredictability of crying so liked to be in control of this.
It is puzzling that it doesn’t happen at nursery.
Observation is key but difficult as you can’t stand back and allow it. Try a STAR analysis ( setting trigger action result) to unpick the behaviour.
You could look at “ safe hands” if the understanding is there.

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