Creating a scene at handover of the child

[DevonSunSeaSand]

My husband and I had contact with his 8 y/o daughter this week. Agreed by the mother of the child, and in line with the court order in place.

She causes a scene when we collect her by handing over a mobile phone for daughter to make regular contact and a Nintendo Switch. The court previously said that contact by the mother shouldn't occur when in our care as it's interrupting time with her father. The bag also contained a diary which only started the day before for the child to write about her time.

When we ask she takes bits back to her own home she says "see, I told you what daddy is like" and then "enjoy whatever holiday club you're dumped at" to the child, and leaves.

We reminded her on Wed eve that she won't be receiving a video call that she requested as the daughter is at holiday camp. She was informed in writing in March about the camp.
We tell her the time we'll be back with her and instead of the court ordered handover location, we offer to meet in her town for ease. She kicks off in the email saying it's unacceptable, she's reported us to the police and social services and see us in court.

Cue yesterday's scene upon returning the child.

Before arriving to handover, the mother has texted saying she'll meet my husband and daughter inside the service station. He messages when we arrive and says he feels threatened by her due to the latest messages so we'll meet outside by the entrance.

She comes out telling everyone she fears for her safety, she's even dragged the WHSmith till person outside telling them she's in danger. She then starts dragging her daughter away from Dad and goes back inside. The grandparents then suddenly race in the car park and rush inside too. All the while we're stood there wondering what on earth is going on.

We called 111 for mental health crises support for the mother and the police arrived. She has a mental health disorder and history of self harm. Turns out they couldn't help as the mother had family with her already.

We're at a total loss as to what to do next. We've been refused access to the child moving forward, threatened with social services, police and court again. And don't feel the child is safe with this behaviour.

Any suggestions for next steps appreciated! We're in shock over yesterday, it was surreal.

How’s the situation now? Could you go back to court again? If the contact was court ordered it should be respected. If you’re concerned about the child you could contact social services yourself. Though if mother reports to social services. They should come and speak to you both anyway.

My husband spoke with the local safeguarding team and the advice was just go back to court if anything happens again.

Luckily it seems to have just been threats and nothing more from her. Access has continued as normal so far. The only change is she has been bringing her husband with her every time at handover.

TBH sounds a bit cruel on your part not to allow her phone contact with her own mother when she’s with you. Also what’s the harm in a diary? You sound very controlling

do you have your own kids??

Call me controlling, I'll call you judgemental.

I presume you missed the line about the court advising interference by the mother during our time isn't to occur.

its good access hasn’t been stopped perhaps she realised it wouldn’t end in her favour she sounds like a fruitcake to be honest.