Will I have a chilled out son?

[Pinkosspo]

If all the men in your family (on both sides have been very chilled and easygoing - am I likely to have a son who is of similar temperament?

I think this is the magic nature/nurture question 😅Research shows that being low in trait-anxiety and neuroticism, and being high in agreeableness is roughly 40-60% due to inheritance (from both the male and female line- boys don't just inherit traits from biologically related men). However, environmental stress, parenting style, role models etc., all have a role to play.

Personally, I follow an interactionist view. I think that we are born with certain genetic tendencies (some people a little more prone to be frustrated, others a little more prone to avoiding conflict), but that our environment encourages or discourages these traits as we grow. That's why you might have a very laid back toddler who becomes more hot-headed as they get older (when their environment changes).

Nope, that’s not how it works. Some children are more high needs than others just by nature, but that doesn’t mean it’s genetic. And a lot has to do with the environment. A stressful family life isn’t going to make a chilled out child. And some adults who seem “chill” are actually “shut down” - they go along with everything and seem relaxed, but are hugely stressed underneath it all.

I have one who is very high needs and intense and not very chill and one who is quite laidback. But they were very much like this from birth, so you’ll probably know early on what sort you’re going to end up with.

I can't speak about having sons but my DD is very sensitive and has NO chill despite DH being the more calm, chill, easy going guy on the planet! DD is basically me, all his genes got cancelled out I guess haha