Breastfeeding 1 year old, evenings

[SkiSchule567]

My son has just turned 1 and I'd like to continue BF but the only frustrating part is that it ties me to bedtime. I don't feed to sleep, we do it slightly earlier in the bedtime routine, but it really relaxes him, takes him from hyper to super super calm. Can I skip an evening here and there and what do you replace it with?

He cannot have cow's milk, he's very allergic. We use Ripple milk for his food but he will not take it in a cup. He won't take breastmilk in a cup either.

Should DH just give him some porridge to replace that feed?

I've been back at work full time for a few months now and I'd like the very odd evening out! All I do is work and care for baby. I have gone out after his bedtime but that means going out at 8/9pm which is extremely late when you have a toddler waking at 6am!

There are a few work events coming soon which I will be expected to attend as well.

Any advice welcome! I don't want to stop BF altogether.

I should say he has also only just started sleeping through the night 2 weeks ago so I am extremely reluctant to fuck with his sleep. Working full time while being woken every 2 hours has been....a different kind of hell.

You can drop a feed without dropping BF entirely.

Do you do a bedtime story?

I absolutely wouldnt use porridge- you’d need to brush his teeth.

At that age, we were fine skipping the occasional feed. We did offer it to him in a sippy cup but he normally just took a couple of glugs then ignored it. It didn't seem to affect the feeding on other nights particularly.

I have a 16 month old who I am still breastfeeding and who is also allergic to dairy. Like you I have been tied to bedtime (and also all naps/night wakes) and was starting to find it extremely limiting so 3 weeks ago we finally did some sleep training which has worked really well and she is finally able to go to bed without milk and her dad can do it🥳🥳our routine now is milk downstairs (or snack/dairy free yoghurt if I'm not doing bedtime) then upstairs to her room, we read the same 3 books every night and then some cuddles. She goes into her cot awake, and now only wakes 1 time max (before this she was up at least 3 times a night). I think moving the milk out of her bedtime routine has actually really helped her sleep and it's amazing to finally have some freedom! Good luck!

He needs to eat something though? He has dinner around 5.30, bedtime at 8 so I feel like he definitely needs a snack as he breastfeeds for aaaaages at 7.30.

@Janeykat thanks! Maybe I'll start giving him milk downstairs to completely separate it from the routine before we replace it. It's just a shame as it just really relaxes him.

I'm not tied to naps etc as I've been back at work since he was 7 months so he's had to deal with that but now I'm just overwhelmed with the demands on me, I need to just not do the bedtime routine ONCE.

I’d drop breast feeding. Over a year isn’t needed and it means there’s no help. It is a killer when working too. A bottle is fine.

Well, bottles are actually not fine after 1, you are meant to ditch them anyway. And I find BF very helpful, it's helped us a lot through teething and illnesses in the last 2 months.

If I could give whole cow's milk I'd be more open to maybe stop soon. But given his dairy allergy, I'd have to replace the milk feeds with shitty ultra processed plant based milks that are pretty sub-optimal and full of added sugar.

He also clearly gets a lot of comfort from it. And there still are immunity benefits.

My question is how to continue BF while still getting some freedom. Looking for some tips, that's all.

Our bedtime was a bit earlier than this, and dinner was aspirationally at 5:30 but in practice sometimes a bit later. But could you move his dinner a bit later so he wouldn't be as hungry?

Also, even if he is breastfeeding for ages, he may not actually be getting that much milk at this point, it could be more about the comfort. I think that's why ours didn't bother much with his sippy cup - most of the point was that it was coming from a boob, not that he was hungry.

@BarnacleBeasley thanks! Yes some adjustments to the schedule are needed, you are right. He is ready to drop to one nap very soon I think as his bedtime is getting later and later. When his bedtime was 7pm, it was easier to get out of the house but now it's more like 8.15-8.30. Which is I guess partly why I have this issue now.

And you're right about the comfort, I can feel it be very shallow sucking.

Don’t know whether I’m an outlier, but mine just accepts that he doesn’t get a BF when he’s with Dad. If in there there’s no getting away from it but on nights when I’m out he’s fine without me. We do give him a snack before bed (porridge or yoghurt or whatever), BF is just an extra

Then have a later supper for him. I mean you will eventually stop breastfeeding altogether so unless you want to continue with a snack why not move supper? Give a mid afternoon healthy snack if too long between lunch and dinner.

@SkiSchule567 Of course bottles are fine. Most mums do this. Babies are healthy. You can replace the cows milk with other milks and he’s presumably eating healthily? I bf DD2 for far too long. It was a nightmare. Do you think mums are failures if they do not bf for a year? Breast milk contains sugar too.

Exactly the same over here!