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Original poster

Co parenting- education argument

12 replies

Marielou101 · 12/08/2025 21:29

Me and my ex have co parented from I was pregnant. We have gone to court previously child arrangement amongst other things. A year and half ago I asked him for a list of 5 schools he wanted our child to go too, when the deadline came he asked for more time and then when the portal opened he agreed our child could go to the school I picked as I would do the schools run/homework etc. he was aware of the school, I also made him aware of the acceptance and meeting (including forms details I signed) now 2 weeks before school starts he’s saying no as it’s a language based school. He promised he would be willing to learn the language however the school is bilingual so everything is translated on forms etc. our son attended a daycare in this language, so I don’t understand the issue
His main argument is he won’t be able to complete the homework as it’s in another language even tho I showed proof of all homework having the language on top and English on bottom and him agreeing that because of the school I will always complete the homework with him (default/resident parent) also this school is known to allow kids to complete homework in the last hour of school to offer support. Keep in mind our child is 2 years of that level of education
What do I do here? He’s saying I have no other choice to compromise

OP posts:
titchy · 12/08/2025 21:48

He’ll have to take it to court. In the meantime send your kid to the school they have a place at.

TizerorFizz · 12/08/2025 22:37

He’s registered at a school so, in the absence of another one, off he gos. If ex disagrees, it’s back to court. The thing to bear in mind is that, presumably, this school benefits dc. Ex almost certainly won’t learn this language, but he’ll just have to do the English big!

Also if he agreed you would have had to declare that. Changing his mind now, with no other school place, is not acceptable. So stick to your guns because be was consulted and did agree at the important dates.

BunnyRuddington · 13/08/2025 07:20

Like the others have said your DS goes to the school that he has a place at. If your Ex wants to alter that he can apply to Court but good luck to him with that, the wait times are long. I can imagine DS will have finished Reception before he has a final hearing.

Do you have a copy of the message where he agreed to the school?

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BabyCatFace · 13/08/2025 07:23

It's too late for him to dispute the school place now. He starts at that school, and if the father wants to change his school place he needs to apply to court for a specific issue order which is unlikely to be approved.

BunnyRuddington · 13/08/2025 07:27

If he’s saying that you have no choice but to compromise, are you in the UK and are you communicating with him through a shared parenting app?

Original poster
Marielou101 · 13/08/2025 08:51

BunnyRuddington · 13/08/2025 07:20

Like the others have said your DS goes to the school that he has a place at. If your Ex wants to alter that he can apply to Court but good luck to him with that, the wait times are long. I can imagine DS will have finished Reception before he has a final hearing.

Do you have a copy of the message where he agreed to the school?

Yes I have a message of him agreeing to the school. I also have a message of him stating he does not want a religious based school, which is what he wants know. Our child will be going to a integrated school

OP posts:
Original poster
Marielou101 · 13/08/2025 08:52

BunnyRuddington · 13/08/2025 07:27

If he’s saying that you have no choice but to compromise, are you in the UK and are you communicating with him through a shared parenting app?

Yes when he took things via solicitors when I was 6 weeks post partum I pushed contact via AppClose (court app) all messages of him agreeing to school etc are there

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 13/08/2025 09:03

@Marielou101 Have his circumstances changed in regard of collecting DS or taking him to school so he wants a nearer one? If he’s said not religious then he’s got non religious. This just seems vexatious. Point out he set guidelines and you have followed them. Then the ball is in his court.

LadyDanburysHat · 13/08/2025 09:08

If you have all of these messages where he agrees ,then he is not going to get far complaining now. Let him take you to court.

Original poster
Marielou101 · 13/08/2025 10:27

TizerorFizz · 13/08/2025 09:03

@Marielou101 Have his circumstances changed in regard of collecting DS or taking him to school so he wants a nearer one? If he’s said not religious then he’s got non religious. This just seems vexatious. Point out he set guidelines and you have followed them. Then the ball is in his court.

No so his reasoning isn’t for the school to be close to him etc as he confirmed I will be doing school drop off/pick up, homework etc as our daughter lives with me.He just sees her 2 nights a week from 6-7pm.

his reasoning for the change of mind is he no longer wants our daughter to learn a different language in a school setting. He wants it to be outside of school but when I mentioned this might affect his contact he said no.

He also doesn’t spell or call our daughter by her legal name due to it being in Irish. He says however he can call our daughter whatever he wants

OP posts:
BlueRin5eBrigade · 13/08/2025 10:35

Let him take you to court. Your child will be well and truely settled, made friends and have an established routine by the time it gets to court. It wont be in her best interests to move her at that point. Realistically, he agreed it. You have proof he agreed it. He can't willy nilly change his mind after the deadline has passed. School starts in two weeks.

TizerorFizz · 13/08/2025 15:40

@Marielou101How confusing for DD. Let’s hope he just sticks to 2 hours a week! Pretty poor parenting.

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