6 week old only sleeps on us, can’t be put down

[SophieRules]

Overnight we put him in the crib but he doesn’t sleep properly (no more than 45 mins ish at a time) and catches up in morning by sleeping with us and contact napping. During the day if he is put in the Moses basket or crib even if in a deep sleep, wakes up usually instantly or max within maybe 2 minutes. I know this is common with new borns but he is 6 weeks now and we are wondering what we can do to tackle this. Being tired is not good for him or us. He is exclusively breast fed. He used to have terrible wind but that is improving with infacol and age. Even when there is no sign of wind he still doesn’t sleep well, unless he is on us.

It’s still very normal OP, 6 weeks is tiny still. Look up the fourth trimester, they still think you are the same person & it is still far too young to think about any kind of sleep training. That is not recommended until at least 6 months because anything younger than that they are simply not developmentally ready.

Waking up about every 45 minutes is normal as that is approximately one sleep cycle. When they are really small they have to have help to link their cycles by feeding/soothing but eventually they learn to do it theirselves

Completely normal for this stage. I'd just go with it for now. Get as comfortable as possible for daytime contact naps. Take it in turns at night.

Completely normal at that age. During the day I’d use a carrier if you can.

How, in 2025, are people managing to have babies and think that they will sleep all night at a few weeks old?

V normal won't be forever. 6 weeks is newborn!

With DD, DH held her from 10ish until about 1am so I got a chunk of sleep or until she wanted a feed and then usually managed to get her down for a bit in the basket. But also co slept safely.

In the day you don't need to put them down, sling or contact naps.

So normal, all 3 of mine were like this. By 10 weeks a fair bit better at sleeping

Because mother in laws. Mine asked me every single time when she visit at 2 weeks, 6 week. She came to mine last week and my baby is 12 weeks and she STILL asks me oh she must be sleeping through the night by now no? Oh really? Not yet? That’s strange.
Want to poke her eyes out. But instead every single time I either politely explain or say no and tinkly laugh

But MILs aren’t the only source of parenting information, surely?

Wow there are a few really weird and harsh responses. I don’t think OP has said she expects baby to sleep through? Just that they’re not really coping when baby won’t be put down at all and sleeps for no more than 45 minutes at a time, which I totally understand because it’s really hard to cope on such little sleep for 6 weeks straight. She definitely doesn’t need parenting lessons either!

It is far too young for sleep training, perhaps something to revisit at 4 months+ if you’re so inclined but right now…
Have you tried a dummy? Does baby sleep with movement in the pram- some pram carrycots are suitable for overnight sleeping check that first or alternatively we had a moses basket on a rocking stand which mine liked. Are you doing shifts with your partner? What about safe cosleeping? Also what do you mean by doesn’t sleep well? Newborns can be incredibly noisy during sleep and it doesn’t mean they’re not sleeping properly. If they’re not crying ignore the noises and if they’re disturbing then take turns to sleep in another room.
As with all baby things, it’s a phase and you won’t be in the trenches forever.

yes it’s hard to cope with so little sleep. But it’s absolutely normal. I assume had OP spent 30 mins on this site before having baby she would know this, and about the 4th trimester, and that newborns don’t generally sleep when put on their backs away from mum. Which would mean this situation was expected, planned for and not seen as something to “tackle”.

I understand people saying it’s normal and 6 weeks is very young still but OP is asking for advice and in my experience of my three children it’s definitely not beyond the realms of possibility to be able to put them down to sleep.

Have you tried swaddling OP? A real life saver with all three of mine and they would do 2 to 3 hour stretches between night feeds of swaddled. Maybe a bit of gentle white noise etc - they are used to the cocoon and noise of the womb so I found trying to recreate that helped.

I feel for you, I had one like this and it was torture at times, tried everything, nothing worked. I think she started sleeping for maybe 2 hours at a time in the Moses overnight around 12 weeks, we had to let her fall asleep with us first then carefully transfer her in after she was in deep sleep. And then things improved again once she could roll at 5 months as she started sleeping on her stomach which she much preferred even though it gave me massive anxiety, I think at that point she started doing 4-5 hours on a good night. Neither of mine slept through the night until they were well over 1 though.

OP my baby contact napped until 4 months. We started a routine then which helped (their sleep cycles mature at 4 months) and some sleep training closer to 6 months which helped us get to 1-2, sometimes 3 wakes a night. You can't night wean from breastfeeding until closer to 10/11 months.

He did a brief stint of sleeping well at 7-9 weeks which made no sense. But then went back to waking every 1.5 hours and contact napping.

At 11 months he night weaned himself (also breastfed) and started doing 11 hour stretches of sleep.

The sleep deprivation is extreme. Nothing prepares you for that. You will cope. You will get better at just doing stuff and accepting you are sleep deprived.

I had to swaddle mine to get them happy to be put down asleep. A lot of the time, my baby howled if put down, even long enough to put my shoes on. And I couldn't baby wear because will my baby would do was root and scream four breastmilk and I did NOT want to breastfeed in the carrier because of the risk of asphyxia.

My LO got horrible nappy rash and I had to do a lot of time with them on a play mat airing their nappy area. It took ages to build up to any period of time on the floor and not crying but it DID get better. I sang a lot of nursery rhymes and used shiny toys to help keep them happy on the floor. Once LO got some head and limb control and could enjoy a play mat, that helped a LOT - I think that must have been closer to 10 weeks though.

It’s 31 degrees here today and people are suggesting swaddling?!

Thanks for the helpful replies, ignoring the not helpful ones. Knowning how common it is, is helpful. We are trying the sling for some day time naps. We will manage for now, and review at 3 months when he is a bit older.