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Should I make a GP appointment?

13 replies

CanterburyRoadBlock · 12/08/2025 07:25

Will try and keep this short, but would so appreciate anyone telling me if they've been through similar or know someone who has....and also if I'm being over dramatic.

My son is 14, he will be 15 in 3 weeks. He is going into S4 this week (Scotland).

My son, his brother and i are a close family, we do a lot together and they are the best! The past few years have been turbulent. We had lived in the same house for nearly 9 years in a village, we left because the LL told me she was selling (she didn't, she increased the rent over 100%). We moved and did a long commute to school, then that place was sold, we were homeless, three of us living in one room at my mums. I then bought a house, closer to school but still a commute and has had a lot of problems. I really dislike living here and want to move. My son had 2 best friends all through primary and into secondary, then around a year ago, they just isolated him, just started to ignore him and talk about him to other people. My son was in the same football team for 7 years, and he left this year because of them (they are too), he felt he had no real friends anymore. He has tried to move on, hes gotten a new friend, joined the school football team and im proud he has joined this other team. But he is uncomfortable i think, he hasn't met a single friend all summer. Of course I am biased, but hes a great boy, he does well at school, excels in maths and science, hes never been in trouble ever. He is tall and handsome! He's just a 'young' 14 year old. He has always been a good sleeper and never stays up late.

And now this issue....he is having real trouble sleeping. It has been rumbling on for maybe 6 months or so, in peaks and troughs. And the last few nights he has come into my room crying. He is not one to cry. He'll talk about his old best friends, last night he spoke about feeling anxious because his Dad (who is remarried and is an EOW) kept telling him how important sleep is, and scolded him if he couldn't sleep. We sat in my bed until after midnight last night, we did some deep breaths, and I made him laugh and tried to comfort him. He then said he'd try to go to sleep again...but I left him crying in his room, he started to cry again.

I'm conscious that hes a 14 year old boy and won't love the idea of the doctors, I don't even know if they can do anything ? I could maybe pay for therapy, but unsure how open He'll be to that.

I am exhausted, and obviously I have to work too. I don't want to make a wrong move here.

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OMGtimes3 · 12/08/2025 07:33

Knowing how useless many GPs are, and how difficult it can be to get an appointment, I would suggest you talk to a pharmacist and
buy some melatonin tablets to see if that helps. Difficulty sleeping is a horrible thing – I’ve suffered for decades with it – but it would be good for your teenage DS if this could be knocked on the head sooner rather than later. Just popping a harmless pill may be a psychological help as well. Good luck

CanterburyRoadBlock · 12/08/2025 08:17

Thanks for your reply @OMGtimes3, my post was longer than I'd wanted it to be so appreciate you reading!

I can definitely go to a pharmacy and ask, but I was told by a friend they're pretty strict on gatekeeping melatonin, will definitely try today though.

Its heartbreaking how distressed he is.

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CanterburyRoadBlock · 12/08/2025 09:20

I have made a telephone GP appointment, they said they would call today. I'm so worried, I just want to pick him up and make it all better.

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Mischance · 13/08/2025 16:09

Phenergan. You can get it OTC. It will help him to get backninto a sleep pattern.

OverTheWater28 · 14/08/2025 12:43

Mischance · 13/08/2025 16:09

Phenergan. You can get it OTC. It will help him to get backninto a sleep pattern.

This is dreadful advice to give to a parent of a child. Phenergan, whilst available otc, is a heavy duty sedative and in no way appropriate for a child without seeking medical advice.
Edited to add, for short term sleep issues, it’s not recommended for under 16s

Superscientist · 14/08/2025 18:02

I would look at some guided meditation or similar. There's loads of playlists on Spotify and similar.
I listen to radio 4 when I can't sleep it helps to shut off my brain enough to settle whilst also keeping it occupied

Trinity69 · 14/08/2025 18:05

You’ll be hard pressed to buy melatonin OTC in the UK. I’m not even sure it’s possible.

CanterburyRoadBlock · 03/09/2025 09:15

We went to the GP, and I can say that it was the worst appointment I have ever witnessed. We went the day after a night of my son saying he hates his life, he doesn't want to be here, hes had enough. It took so much for him to sit in front of that awful doctor, his leg was shaking, but I said we needed help. She was completely invalidated his feelings, kept squinting her eyes at him as though she thought he was lying, said she wouldn't offer him anything to help him sleep because hell get addicted. Said what he is feeling is totally normal, kept giving me passive aggressive comments about teenagers and then suggested I attend a parenting class so I stopped worrying.

This isn't normal for my son.

It took so much for him to go looking for help outside of me, and we landed an awful awful doctor.

He is having issues every night nearly, last night was around 1am before sleeping - but it's not just the sleeping, it's all the anxiety he has - he said he couldn't stop shaking last night.

What do I do? I don't know where to go.

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FattyMcFattyArse · 03/09/2025 09:21

I'm so sorry you had that experience with the GP. I would be making a formal complaint to the practice manager. But on a practical note, can you self refer him to CAMHS? Or find a private counsellor.

It's so hard parenting teens these days and watching them go through all of this. Sounds like he is having really bad anxiety and it's not OK for a GP to do nothing to help. I'm angry for you.

FattyMcFattyArse · 03/09/2025 09:25

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lljkk · 03/09/2025 09:26

I took teen DC to a therapist who specialised in adolescent anxiety. Only took a few sessions for DC to pick up some skills to help stop them spiraling.

CanterburyRoadBlock · 03/09/2025 09:58

He is masking all day, doesn't talk to anyone but me. He might mention snippets to my mum, but not the full story.

I can look at getting a private counsellor. I need time to do it.

My mum says I need to tell to stop coming to see me, because it is impacting me, but I want him to feel supported, I don't want him to be alone feeling so anxious and shaking

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ThatCleverCoralCrow · 03/09/2025 12:35

Aww that's sad 😔 I remember the anxiety ridden days of teenage years and it can definitely affect some more than others, especially with exams etc on top of it. I wouldn't go down the medication route, and definitely would go with counselling. I think this is one of those moments where he learns the coping skills that he will take into the rest of his life and medication would just become a crutch that he thinks he will always need. Stay strong and supportive for him, model strength here but that it's ok to show his emotion 💪

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