I'm a single mother to a 9 y/o boy. I'm 38 and have been single for six years. My sons dad has been back in the picture for around a year. We separated due to controlling behaviour and his never ending cheating.
In the first few years, I spent a lot of time putting my mind back together, ensuring stability for both myself and my son was paramount. I did a lot of inner work, through both therapy, meditation and so on. This broadened my interests in mindfulness etc.
I work in mental health in an educational setting. My job can be emotionally draining and isolating, as there's limits to what I can share with others, due to privacy. I come home from work and am then a full time, single mum. I have no childcare if he is ill and so it's constantly back to back care, work, repeat.
My ex partner sees our son twice a month. My own parents are no longer part of my life; they do see my son maybe twice a month at most, despite them giving a largely false impression to others. He may spend two nights a month away from me at most, and 8 hours a month with his dad.
I've noticed that over the past few months, I've started to feel very isolated and lonely. I feel really suffocated as a mother. I sit alone once my son is in bed, night after night. There is literally no time for me to do anything for myself, as the free time I do have is often sporadic. I do find that I'm often that drained from everyday life, that the free time I do get is spent either cleaning and catching up, or I just want to sleep!
The odd times I do find something I'd enjoy available within my timeframe, I attend these things alone. I'm used to my own company enough to do things alone, so that's not an issue. It would sometimes be nice to have company though. My friends are all in relationships with their own families, lives etc, so often don't have time to do anything when I do have the chance to. This does also mean I miss out on adult conversations a lot, or the chance to just be me and not mum, although I do enjoy the silence, as my son is a gamer!
I just feel so suffocated and alone. There's groups I'd love to get involved in, but don't ever have the free time to do so. Obviously my son doesn't share the same interests as myself, so it's not like I could take him along to anything. I'm starting to feel so out of my mind. I feel like all I do is provide time and care for everyone but am left with no time to meet my own needs. I have no community, or village as they say.
Are there any other single parents in the same position at all? Is there a friendly, welcoming online community I could perhaps join?