please no judgement, I already feel like an uneducated fossil!
my ds (9) came home today as he had been playing out with his friend & “some teenagers” called his friend a virgin & he asked me what it was & if it meant blah blah blah (can’t even remember what he said but it wasn't the right explanation). When he asked I was practically burning my face & hands off cooking steak on the bbq so I just said no & that we would discuss it later because I wasn’t in a position to give it the right attention.
I’ve know these questions were going to
come soon & I’ve looked at books on & off but my kid isn’t a reader & I haven’t found anything I think he would read. I’d like to talk to him without any pressure & “closing of the blinds” so to speak but honestly I feel absolutely clueless in the words to say… everything I read (& I’ve looked at a LOT of pages trying to educate myself!) tell you to explain in an age appropriate way but I have absolutely no idea what that is 🤷🏻♀️ like I have no idea what words & phrases to use at all. I know it sounds mental but my parents never spoke about anything from basic body stuff to sex & bought me a cartoon video called “body talk” which I was too ashamed to watch because my parents were absolute prudes & made sex shameful to even bring up! I was embarrassed to start my period & I even feel icky now when my mum talks about period products because they made such a mystery of it all. I’m fucking 40 fgs!! I’ve always wanted to be upfront with my kids because I NEVER want them to feel the way I did but the kids in his class are very child like & while I told myself I’d be truthful & factual about it when it came up… it’s just never has… and some of the school mums in his class definitely think they are too young for this type of conversation so I e come up short trying to get advice there too. we are not prudish around our bodies at home & I have no issues talking openly to friends but I can’t for the life of me think of how to talk about this with my kid. Can you help me with some appropriate words/phrases to explain things to a 9 year old? Because I have no idea what to say & don’t want to fuck this up! Please don’t say to ask “What do you think” because it was clear before when he asked me if it was blah blah that he was so far off the mark that I couldn’t even branch out from what he was saying. Please also no “you should have addressed this sooner” because I’ve not needed to - he knows about periods & proper names for body parts etc but he’s never even asked where babies come from other than when he was 4 & it didn’t need a lot of explanation. Eek I’m lost!! Help!!!