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Parenting

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I’m desperate…9 month old’s sleep

2 replies

Jojo2408 · 10/08/2025 22:17

I think I’ve reached the end of my tether and I am in desperate need of help.

DS2 is 9 months. I thought nothing could top DS1’s poor sleep, he was a terrible sleeper. But DS2 is taking the lead.

For the last 4-5 months he has been a really bad sleeper. He wakes 30 mins after I put him down without fail, then will proceed to wake up every 30-45 mins after that. On rare occasions he may sleep longer stretches anywhere between 2-4 hours. We were co-sleeping which worked for a while but then we both started sleeping terribly and he would wake up really groggy so he’s back in his cot now.

The other night we had a complete miracle and he slept from 8pm-1pm and then 1pm-5am I couldn’t believe it. I tried to recreate the exact day (nap times and lengths etc) but the next night he was back to sleeping terribly.

He doesn’t settle with DH at all. Like at all. He will scream and scream until I come back. We keep trying but it’s always the same outcome. We’ve tried so many different wake windows, nap lengths, white noise, making sure he’s not too hot, not hungry, not gassy etc everything I can think of. I have tried sleep training, specifically Ferber method but I’m not a fan of it and he became extremely distressed at bed time. We tried for about a week and then I gave up.

Around a month ago I started putting him down in the cot drowsy but awake and patting him to sleep. It seemed to help a tiny bit, but since then he’s started teething, he currently has 4 teeth coming through at the same time. I’m hoping once they’re out he’ll sleep a bit better?

I don’t know I’m honeslty at my wits end now. What am I doing wrong??? I know this will pass, as it did with DS1 but every night is on me now as DH can’t help. Well he helps where he can by making the bottles and will take DS2 downstairs in the mornings so I can get more sleep but I’m tired of starting my days late and the broken sleep is really taking a toll now.

OP posts:
Beaniebobbins · 10/08/2025 22:31

Unless you’re giving the baby espresso or something then you aren’t doing anything wrong. For all stages of life some people sleep better others and lots of different things affect sleep. Saying parents are doing something wrong when the baby isn’t sleeping is like telling a menopausal woman she’s doing something wrong when she can’t sleep.

You are finding this hard because it is hard. But look for the positives, baby slept well a few nights ago so they can do it, it’s not a long term problem. It will get better. One day you will have a teenager who won’t wake up. Just keep things as calm and relaxed as you can, get yourself as much rest as you can, see if anyone can help even during the day so you can at least get some rest, and come her for a good old rant whenever anyone tells you that their baby sleeps through and it’s all down to their superior parenting.

Tossingturning · 10/08/2025 22:32

https://sleepwellwithhannah.com/

When my oldest was about 10 months I went to a free Facebook event with this lady and then followed the steps she suggests. Worked when consistent.

Sleep Well with Hannah | Gentle Baby Sleep Solutions for Parents

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https://sleepwellwithhannah.com

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