Sons girlfriend and holiday.

[Roarroar2001]

19 yr old son and his girlfriend have been together almost a year. We have been planning a holiday to somewhere since before they got together for later this year. Once they’d been together a while we invited her on the basis that they both pay 500£ towards the cost of the holiday (am yet to receive anything from either of them), It would still be costing us about an extra 1500£ for her to come. Last week she split up with the him, however today they have decided to get back together. Balance is due Wednesday. Husband is adamant he no longer wants her to come, son and girlfriend think all is ok and I’m really torn. What do I do?!

If they haven’t paid they don’t go! That simple!

I'd scrap the invitation.

Haha! Similar happened v early on in my relationship with husband and we were late teens. We were due to go on holiday to Greece with his parents, briefly split up and got back together. I went on the holiday. We've been married for ten years, with 3 DC. Teenagers are teenagers which my in laws recognised. Let her go on the holiday or you may be alienating your future DIL and mother of your grandchildren. Also my in laws paid for me in full.

What will you have to pay this week if she doesn’t come ? Will you still have to pay for her ?

Don't even think of taking either of them! They have no intention of paying. She will fall out with him again - maybe even on holiday. It's too risky. They can go somewhere together if they want to. You'd be paying an extra £1000 minimum for her to come along when she's just dumped your son. I wouldn't do that.

They've not paid.

I'd say you presume they aren't going bevause they've not paid and hear what they to say.

It could mean your son doesn't go either or he goes without her with bad grace and makes the hols a misery.

Doesn't sound like fun.

If they have the £1000 then they come if not cancel her place and give him option to come

No, too risky and a holiday is a lot of stress anyway. I think it risks it all kicking off when they are there and that isn’t fair to you.

I’d offer for your son to still come if he wants to, or encourage them to plan their own holiday. They could have a lovely few days away for £1000 if they put their money together.

They haven’t paid so no they don’t go.

Your son is 19 he’s not a child, if he wanted to be a part of the holiday he would have paid you the £500.

It's one thing subbing your own child, and I have paid for my DC to come on holiday with us at 19 and older, but quite another paying for the GF.
But there are 2 issues: firstly, do you actually want her to come? And secondly, who's paying? Decide with your DH, then have a conversation with your son.
If DS decides not to come if GF can't, is that going to upset family dynamics, eg younger siblings? If GF does come, will DS be wrapped up with her rather than engaging with siblings?