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14 month old knocked tooth out and I can't stop hating myself

12 replies

kateeea · 10/08/2025 15:31

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, it's a long one sorry but appreciate it if you read it.
Please no hating comments as I hate myself enough already.

My 14 month old DD loves slides and there are a couple playgrounds next to my house with tiny slides where she can climb up and slide down on her own (on her tummy - feet first if that makes sense).
She's been doing this for a few weeks now. Whenever we go to a bigger playground with big slides there isn't an issue as she can't climb up and I just slide her down while holding her (me not being on the slide but standing next to it).

Well, 2 days ago I took her to a new exciting playground we've never been before. This one had a big slide but the issue was that she was able to climb up and she really wanted to go. I thought to myself this slide is dangerous she could fall at the end and hit her head... she started throwing a fit when I didn't want to let her slide so I thought I will help her from the top, holding her hands and slide her down halfway where I let her go. It was safe, she loved it, she stopped at the bottom of the slide and climbed down. She absolutely loved it we did it 2 more times, big laughs and everything. 4th time I didn't pay as much attention and felt a false "safeness" and I let go of her arms higher up. Now that was enough for her to get to a bigger speed and she didn't stop at the bottom of the slide, she fall down. Smashed her face at the bottom of the slide started screaming immediately I run down picked her up she was bleeding from her mouth and I could see she knocked a tooth out.. I was devastated, called my husband to come and get us. She stopped crying after about 5 min, we called 111 went to an out of hour dentist followed by A&E to make sure she didn't inhale the tooth as we couldn't find it.
Now she is missing one of her top central incisors and the other one is pushed back into her gum, already started to go gray and it is at a weird angle.. dentist told us we need to go back for a checkup in 2 months but that tooth is most likely dead and will stay gray and hopefully doesn't get infected etc..

I am devastated. She is fine, she doesn't seem upset, plays laughs etc. But everytime I see the gap I am in physical pain and want to burst into tears. I've been crying for 2 days, I can't eat I can't sleep and the amount of guilt I feel I cannot even describe. I hate myself so much for being so careless and I hate that I allowed this to happen to her, well I actually made it happen. I feel like I am the worst mom and she will have to live for God knows how many years without her top teeth because of me. I'm keep playing over in my head all the what ifs and I'm so heartbroken.
I should've kept her safe and I shouldn't have let this happen. All I ever wanted is to be a best mom for her and I'm clearly not that. I don't know how to get over this feeling. I don't want to feel this pain everytime I look at her precious smile, I don't want her to feel that her smile is making me hurt, I don't want her to be self conscious about it, but feel like my own emotions will cause this - making me even a worse mom.

I should add i had terrible teeth growing up and spent thousands on it getting it fixed a few years ago. Before that I didn't laugh or smile, always kept my mouth closed so I think all this are adding to it. I should be grateful that nothing worse happened but I just grieve her perfect smile and have crazy amount of hate towards myself.

Don't even know what I want from posting this but I just want this guilt to stop and I want to be there for her and make her feel like her teeth does not matter.

Will I ever stop hating myself? Will I ever be able to look at her smile without wanting to cry?
I know i am probably being over dramatic and it's only teeth. But it would be a different story if she just knocked it out running around or something. That I could live with much easier. But the fact I caused this is killing me.

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JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 10/08/2025 15:41

And breathe. It was an accident. You didn’t cause this. You didn’t throw her down the slide, you were playing with her and having fun. She was enjoying herself.

My cousin fell down the stairs when he was 2 and knocked both of his front teeth out. In all his childhood photos he has no front teeth. They grew in when second teeth are meant to grow in and his teeth were perfectly fine.

Your DD isn’t in pain, the dentist is keeping an eye on her and she’ll be ok. Big hugs to you OP. You’ve had a terrible shock.

kateeea · 10/08/2025 16:42

Thank you for your kind words. Can i please ask if your cousin was conscious about his missing teeth or was he not affected by it?

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JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 10/08/2025 16:54

He was fine with it. He could whistle really well! And every Christmas sang ‘all I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth’. He was lovingly teased about his lack of front teeth but it never caused him any issues. In fact he liked the attention! Like you, his mother was very upset, but honestly, it was an accident. These things happen.

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TeddyBeans · 10/08/2025 16:58

When I worked at a nursery there were two separate children that had lost one of their front teeth and neither were self conscious about it. It happens, a lot more than people realise. She'll be okay and eventually you'll forgive yourself 💐

Nonamenoplacetogo · 10/08/2025 17:16

I can understand why you are so upset but it was an accident- the first of many to come. In 20 years time this will be part of your family folklore about how she knocked her tooth out on a slide when she was a toddler. It will become part of the fabric of your family along with many sayings and stories that will bond you further together. Be kind to yourself but maintain perspective Flowers

Oglefish95 · 10/08/2025 18:33

I fell over while running as a child and chipped my front tooth in half so had a half tooth for years. I never cared about it one bit, I think it looked quite cute in photos to be honest looking back! And milk teeth are replaced so no need to worry about long lasting effects.

It was an accident that happened while she was having lots of fun! These things happen just be kind to yourself 🥰

Theredcow · 10/08/2025 19:03

I know just how you feel as something similar happened to my DS. One tooth was knocked out, the other wasn't but had to be removed as it had pushed up into his gum.

Please try not to blame yourself, it was an accident. She will be fine, hopefully when her big teeth come through they will be ok.

I have treasured photo of my DS taken a few days before the accident and he has a lovely smile.

Be kind to yourself.

SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough · 10/08/2025 22:03

My brother had four teeth knocked out by a tennis racket. He loved the attention. His adult teeth grew through perfectly straight and never had any need for dental work so no long term damage. Don't be hard on yourself, it was an accident.

dairydebris · 10/08/2025 22:17

More than one tooth accident over here.

Honestly kids so often have wonky teeth, teeth missing here and there, its really not that unusual. Baby teeth fall out from 4 / 5 ish and those middle 2 are the first to go, she won't be different for long at all.

I can understand your heartbreak and honestly I feel a bit sad looking at photos of my child who had a similar accident. But they lack the context we do. Its not a big deal to them when they are so young.

Hide your sadness, keep mirrors to a minimum, talk factually about the accident, but breezily, like its not very important.

We did get the odd comment about teeth at school but my child was always told to be factual- yes of course I brush my teeth, I just had an accident when I was younger etc etc.

Do keep an eye out for abscess on the remaining injured tooth. It'll look like a pimple on the gum above the tooth.

The adult teeth won"t be affected. One day like me you'll be thinking... thank God it wasn't the adult teeth!

Chin up.

Happyapplesanspears · 10/08/2025 22:21

At least she’ll grow another set!

HonoriaBulstrode · 10/08/2025 22:30

I knocked out a front tooth when I was two - tripped over something in the garden. You can see the gap in photos, until the second one grew, but I really don't remember thinking about it at all.

Accidents will happen, OP, you really must stop punishing yourself. It's not doing your dd any good to see you so upset.

kateeea · 11/08/2025 14:19

Thanks everyone for your kind words.💕 It did help me feel much better and for the first night last night I could go to sleep without crying.

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