Child doesn't want to go to dads

[ItalianRedParka]

Dc is 7. Dad was always hit and miss until he got a gf. Now he does about 30 percent. Dc is due to spend around 10 days there over holidays. Dc was upset last night and wants to be with me more and told me when he asked his dad is he could come back here last time dad got annoyed. What do I do ?

If he really doesn’t want to go then don’t let him, you don’t know what’s happening there. It’s his dad’s fault his son hasn’t got a relationship with him. It’s don’t force it, it’ll cause resentment

My son is 6 and whenever he says he doesn't want to go to his dads I follow his lead.
I don't want him to feel hurt, forced, upset being somewhere he literally doesn't want to be.

Dad, yes it upsets him but thankfully understands.

It's hard as I have to work ! Im annoyed if his dad has got annoyed as he's a child and expressing his needs !

It is your responsibility to facilitate your child’s relationship with their other parent. If you are confident that there is no abuse happening you simply tell the child that this is how things work and that it’s important that they spend time with their dad.

The above replies are interesting - I wonder what the responses would be on a thread where a dad doesn't return a 7 year old after his custody time because the child said they didn’t want to go back to mum’s.

Im obviously not going to deny his father access if that's what you're getting at. Quite a leap. I want to do right by him. Im positive with him about going to his dad's. He just doesn't want to go for 10 days!

The responses would be wildly different! Funny that.

If this is continually happening then I would suggest 7 days instead of 10

Is that 10 days without seeing you?

Yep apart from on face time

That does make it more tricky then.

Do you have any days off in this time or are able to see him physically? If contact has befn patchy and his DF is getting angry with him I can see why he’s reluctant but sometimes they do need to be with other people while you work and it is his Dad, even if he sounds a bit crap.

10 days is a long time if he usually only goes for a couple of days a week. I wouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place TBH?

(i don’t force any of my children to see their dad - and never have done and their dad left when they were babies. It’s not My job to facilitate or force contact at all. I just don’t frustrate it - if their dad asks to see them I don’t refuse and will suggest things they might like to do. If they don’t want to spend time with him and say no then that’s not my problem to force. I certainly won’t be the bad guy who enforces something they had no choice in

Sounds like a tricky situation 😕. Given your DC's feelings and the current dynamics, it might be helpful to have a calm conversation with your ex about your DC's needs and feelings. You could say something like, 'Hey, I've noticed DC's been feeling a bit down about our arrangement, and he's been wanting to spend more time with me. Would it be possible to adjust the schedule or find ways to make him feel more comfortable during his time with you?' Try to focus on your DC's emotional well-being and see if you can find a solution that works for both of you 🤝 but also look out and be vigilant. Have you Sarah's law or Claire law this new woman in your sons life. The police are quick with these laws and give answers relatively quickly. They won't say what shes done, if anything but will tell you if your son is at risk.