2 month old almost impossible to settle for naps.

[Agut]

CORRECTION: She's 3 mo'. Has anyone had that problem. I've tried literally everything: dark room, white noise, swaying rocking, pram, carrier, cot and watching for tired cues and the waking windows (please no advise regarding the length of the windows). There is no reliable method to settle her apart from feeding which also does not always work. Bang on three months she decided she won't nap. I feel like all my energy goes to putting her to sleep but on good days I settle her for what's close to an hour and at best we manage 2.5 hrs split into 5 naps. But often we don't manage even that and what worked one day does not work the next and she is perpetually tired. I'm so tired from all the swaying and rocking and pretty sure my joints are bugged.

Could you stop trying to get her to sleep and just go about your day and see if she falls asleep naturally? Especially if you go out for a walk in the pram or drive somewhere. If you are settling her for nearly an hour it might be that she's not actually ready to go to sleep yet?
Why have you said you don't want advice about wake windows?

At that age, I was definitely feeding mine to sleep and just holding them for naps (then I could drink coffee and snack and watch tv in peace). Or they just fell asleep in the car or out and about. I never did the white noise in the cot naps at home thing. In fact, the only time mine ever napped in the cot was one time when one of them was sick. If just feeding and holding them doesn’t work, yes, I’d just get on with your day. They’ll sleep eventually.

@shardlakemthat is the problem, if I don't settle her somehow she can be awake for a really long time and doesn't really go by herself... Car rides are good but only can manage one or two in the days. We've really been trying different lengths of the wake windows. It's just frustrating when all the tips I search for are something I've already tried

If feeding to sleep works can’t you just do that?

Try a baby swing.

@mindutopiashe was contact napping only until very recently and the only reason I've stopped is that as she grew I noticed that she's more comfortable in the cot. Id be super happy to hold her (after all it's way more comfy for me than rocking the pram or a cot) but as mentioned above the issue is getting her to sleep and holding her or feeding along.with other methods mentioned do not reliably work day after day

Feed to sleep in your bed too? Then either rest yourself or get up once she’s asleep. Only type of naps my two would settle properly for

Mine would only contact nap at that point and wake windows were pointless at that stage. dC started going down for a nap in their cot and following wake windows when they were about 4 months.

Yep mine was like that at 3 months too. I had a breakdown at 3 months as baby was 1) wrong every 2 hours and 2) I'd spend all day getting him to nap, rocking, feeding etc. My back gave in one day, DH had to take a day off work to do the swaying.

Its not about where she sleeps cot vs contact It's the actual going to sleep - if I could easily rock her to sleep if happily contact nap but i can't many of the times and when I can recently she's more likely to sleep better in a cot. When I mention the cot I mean that as I was at the end of my tethers I also tried to settle her in the cot when I couldn't settle her in my arms and by other ways. And sometimes it worked just like eve else works only sometimes but always takes a very long time. It's really not a post to start a cot training debate I'm just try to get her to sleep and struggling wondering if anyone else had a similar experience. @WhereIsMyLight

@SpinnyDinos456 Thank you for reading my message properly 🙂 can I ask, how did you manage in the end? Did it pass? I'm hoping it's just a phase- it really feels like she went back 2 months.

@Cinnabonswirlyeah it's still the best way though does not always get her too sleep. Recently she just stays on the breast for ages - eyes closed but actively chugging, definitely not asleep as when I try gently take her off eyes open I was trying to wean her off cause thought about stopping breastfeeding (for various reasons it was tricky for us and she also quite likes her formula).

I really mean this really kindly but it’s all a bit early for this. She’s three months. She doesn’t know she has wake windows. She hasn’t read the book. Sleep is normal to be all over the place. She’ll sleep when she’s tired.

just give her a nice cosy space, your arms, milk and set up various sleep zones where you can pop her if she think you will go. Get on with your day, let her sleep on the sling, on the go, in the pram or in the car.

it’s inconvenient to not have your arms free and know the time when you can put the washing on or send that email- but children don’t really add convenience to our lives, especially young.

i haven’t put any of mine down ‘for a nap’ until about 6 months. I would revisit more of a schedule in a couple of months.

It’s really difficult at this stage. I remember people saying they’ll tell you when they need sleep but 7 hours late my LO would still be awake. Personally I just chose what was easier, for me that was feeding or some rocking and a contact nap. Other friends got them out in the pram or car (that never worked for me) and some sleep trained and done didn’t have to do anything their babies just slept.
I will say that mine has never ever slept as much as they ‘should’ I think some kids just have lower sleep needs, so wake windows were often longer, naps shorter and bedtimes later, maybe that’s the case for your dd

One of mine gave up napping at about four months. She would doze off in the pushchair after a long playground session, or she'd zonk out in the highchair for 10 minutes at dinnertime (after weaning), but she wouldn't go to sleep in the cot.

I just went with it and put her to bed earlier. She turned out to be a very good sleeper at night, so it was swings and roundabouts.

I wasn’t starting a cot debate. I was simply stating mine definitely would not sleep in a cot at that stage, it still needed to be contact naps. It’s pretty normal. You mentioned you stopped contact naps because she seemed more comfortable in a cot.

You’re about a month away from a developmental leap and whilst that might also come with a sleep regression, for us that meant DC was able to sleep in a cot and get a sleep routine.

Can you 'babywear' her? Then she either sleep or not, whichever, and you're free to go about your day.

@casualcrispenjoyeryou've not read my posts

Looking back I think it’s just survival at this point. Could you get some help in so you can have an hour or so to yourself each day to get some head space? If it’s any consolation I found looking after my kids when they were babies truly, quite difficult and it took its toll mentally.. probably not what you want to hear right now but it does get better. Xx

I had the same as you from around 2 months, would not go to sleep for a nap in the day, if I left him too it, he would be awake from 1pm to 8pm, then get very grumpy before bed time. I tried all the "right" things, white noise, dark room, elaborate routines !

I have found that doing more physical and stimulating stuff with my baby will tire him out and he now reliably goes to sleep when he starts showing sleepy cues. I do tummy time most wake windows. Then throughout the day it's songs with actions, going on a walk looking at things, practising rolling and sitting up. Then before bed we close the curtains and let him get a bit bored lying down looking at his hands and he winds down ready for bed.

Hopefully tiring your baby out more might help? I also stopped rocking/swaying for ages, if after 5-10 mins he wasn't asleep I'd put him down and try again in half an hour.

Around 4-5 months, yes. But until the 4 months "regression" when their sleep cycles mature, it's a case of doing whatever you can to get them to sleep. Don't worry about bad habits etc as their sleep completely changes at 4 months, which is when you introduce an earlier bedtime and a routine etc.

@SnugglyJumpersMakeItBettershe won't stay in the carrier happily for that long

@Peacheethanks Peachee - that actually makes me feel a bit better. Ive had ppl saying things like 'she'll just go to sleep however you want her to sleep'. Makes me just feel so lousy

@SpinnyDinos456 i actually think she is now going through the regression but not ready/ able to self settle yet

If she doesn’t go to sleep perhaps she’s not tired?