Is this postpartum depression?

[newmotha]

I have a 3 month old baby and I’m struggling with loneliness and also anxious about leaving the house alone with him because he cries the car down and tbh I’m not even sure where to go with him.
My husband works Mon-Fri and he usually wfh twice a week but is really busy with work that he can’t help with the baby when he does wfh. He comes home from work around 6.30, and sometimes he gives him his last bottle about 9pm and rocks him to sleep and he does the night feed on a Friday and Saturday night - our baby usually wakes once in the night for a bottle.
The problem is, I feel like I need more. At the moment it’s just about how busy he is at work. Am I asking too much? I’m really struggling and starting to feel sad a lot of the time I’m on my own.

Hey there,
I hope you get some good advice on here. I suggest you talk to your partner about it, say that you need more support, and be specific about what that might look like. For example, when you come home can you take the baby for an hour so I can shower, or one whole evening so I can nap?
Be specific and be open to discussion.
New baby's can be hard, and it is sometimes difficult to adapt. As for getting out of the house, you do not HAVE to, but even just a walk in the pram for the fresh air can be a good change of scene.
Your body is still recovering and your mind is part of your body. Try and sleep well, and eat well. No one ever thinks about how much blood women lose in childbirth, and how many vitamins and minerals a baby takes from the mother. It takes rest and good nutrition to recover. If you have them, take a good multivitamin, and try to eat nutrient dense whole foods, boring, but think steak and brocolli with butter.

Best wishes and hope you find your feet soon.

I had a breakdown around the 3 months mark. It was not pnd, it was sleep deprivation, exhaustion and isolation. I called DH at work and told him to come home as I'm going to do something. He took a few days off work, spent the next few months coming home at 5pm on the dot, and doing his bit when he was home. He had been fantastic during pat leave but all that had slipped when he was back at work. We also got a nanny for 2 days a week a month later (we have absolutely no family nearby). My "PND" lifted instantly. I was so much happier. I just needed some breathing room and regular breaks.

I also started going out every morning. It was exhausting physically but I felt so much better. Cafe, mum groups, baby class. I had a routine and made sure I did an outing every single morning Monday - Friday. Then home for lunch for a long cosleep nap. I wasn't usually able to sleep in the day but if I didn't fall asleep, I'd put netflix on with subtitles and sound off and watched LOADS of films and series.

I don't know if it's PPD, so can't advise on that. But I did feel the same about it being impossible to leave the house with my first baby. It got better around 3-4 months.

What did you enjoy doing with your free time before you had a baby? Basically, try to do similar things but just tweak so they are more baby friendly. I liked mountain climbing. I swapped it for long lower level walks with a decent buggy. My older sister loved clothes shopping/browsing. She found that stressful with a baby so she did art galleries/museums/pottering round markets instead. You can meet friends to do things like this some days too, whether they have kids or not. Babies are great for being portable and fitting into adult activities. Once they're toddlers you're knackered 😂

You can start small. Commit to going out 3 mornings per week at first? Even just for an hour if you like. It's a skill like any other and it gets easier with practice.