Abusive ex & Birthday Parties

[Hardheadedwoman39]

I am genuinely interested in how people have navigated this or thoughts on it.

I split up with my ex two and a half years ago. We have two young children. There was a long history of abuse which culminated in a non molestation order. He has continued to be abusive and so co parenting is based on minimal interactions and practically zero in person.

And yet….he is insisting that we should always through joint birthday parties for the children, which due to both history and ongoing treatment isn’t sensible for myself or the children.

Thank you in advance for any shared wisdom!

Don’t!
Assuming they are little - he is not allowed in your home. If you have parties there then obviously he is not invited. If he also wants to throw one than that’s his choice.
It does get tricky when they are 16/18/21 but then they organise their own party and if they want “adults/parents” there then they invite them (and if he is going to be invited be clear it doesn’t happen in your home.

Thank you.
He doesn’t ever come into our home and I have repeatedly said we should organise separate parties for them but he keeps pushing it. Currently going through various court hearings and parenting plans and he is trying to leverage it in. And he speaks to the children about it - they are 5 & 6 - which is not appropriate.