Hi, I separated from my childrens father 8 years ago, we’ve never had a formal arrangement in place for contact, he used to turn up as and when he felt like it on the doorstep despite me trying to get something in place. Has never paid a penny towards their upbringing either so I went to CMS years ago, nothing changed, he’s still never paid a penny towards them apart from a few £26 a month payments 3 years ago which then stopped, honestly have no idea how he’s evading it.
Anyway, a few years ago I moved away with the children. I’ve facilitated all the contact, as in done all the driving there and back using my money and miles for petrol. This hasn’t been regular as he doesn’t want alternate weekends, just school holidays, even then he lets them down on this at times.
I asked could we split the summer hols so I can
work it around my full time work, I’ve managed to book 3 weeks off so the kids have me about in the 6 weeks. He once again said no, he’ll just do the last week, absolutely no concern for what they’ll be doing the other weeks while I have to work! Turns out the week he wants them is for a family wedding so he can take them along to that, more for his benefit by the sound of it.
I’ve asked him to reconsider having them for a week before this in August but I’ve been blanked. Several messages all ignored. This happens every time when on the morning they’re due to go I’ll get a text ‘what time will they be here’ any other conversation asking to give a little like can he pick up, maybe buy a bit of school uniform or pay his maintenance is completely ignored. I really don’t want the kids to not see their dad but honestly at the end of my tether being controlled in a way? Would it make me just as bad to ignore the incoming what time am I dropping them off text and play at his own game? But I worry that I’ll be accused of stopping him from seeing them or is this fair enough?