Screen time rage

[wildlingtribe]

If the internet is down, if it’s slow. He rages. Time limits, he gets angry at me. We sometimes have positive responses where he is sensible and understanding, but the anger it creates, either the games themselves (fifa) or the internet problem or coming off - it’s causing problems. I have tried breaks. But I know he does take comfort in playing with friends/ talking to a couple of friends. He is active, has hobbies outside (I’m big on outside) but this is something he values. But I feel the overstimulation and the limits (he says his friends are allowed all the time) cause his anger to flare. Same with a phone, no social media is allowed at all - have seen detrimental effects from other children - but fifa game is allowed usually on a limit and WhatsApp but not aimlessly scrolling because it drives me mad and would make him even worse. He’s 11.

He’s addicted.

Timings are limited. And not excessive, so that’s why I was baffled with the hold it takes. Yes I result to taking the console out and back in a cupboard. Sometimes he is absolutely fine, but I’ve found the anger stems from the game itself or the rubbish internet service, then me saying it’s times up he gets cross because he’s spent the ‘timing’ frustrated as the internets been down. But it’s the blow up that follows, and just the moods or asking for additional goes.

I’d remove it completely for at least a couple of years.

This.

I wouldn't take it away altogether, you'll be creating something for his friends to ridicule him for which won't help your relationship.

Rage, if it's at the game he'd get one warning about reacting in an appropriate way or it goes off. If the rage has been caused by the fact the internet has shit and he hasn't actually got to play much as he's been faffing about then I'd allow an extra 30 min.

And get better internet. In this day and age you can get pretty decent for a reasonable price and then there won't be any arguments about it going down or being slow.

Ahhh FIFA Rage. What do you know about the game? Do you take an interest?

Regarding the WiFi rage, no doubt going alongside yells of "laggggg", is, in my experience actually pre-teen convenient excuses for not being as good as they could be at the game. Better to blame lag/wifi than admit that you let in the goal and lost the game because the other person is better.

My 15yo still plays FIFA, but grts much less stressed about it. As does my 53yo husband. My 19yo doesn't bother to plsy much nowadays tho.

As with most popular multi-player games, at 11yo your son will loose a lot, because he'll be playing against others who have many, many more years of experience who will be better than he is. So he's likely to get frustrated and angry.

Of all the multiplayer games he could be playing, FIFA isn't all that bad really. At least its not COD or GTA. He's not going to get any better if he's never allowed to play, but if you talk to him about how he responds when he loses, that will help.

My husband used to sit with out boys as they played (it's how he got into it). That helps the boys understand why losing is learning and nit something you need to get angry about.

Still keep the limits, at 11 children definitely shouldn't be allowed to spend hours gaming. But what I wouldn't advocate is banning it, instead take a closer interest and teach him healthy ways to handle anger and frustration, rather than just avoiding it completely.