15 month old struggling to settle in childcare

[Hellothisismehello]

My 15 month old has been really struggling to settle in nursery. This is her fifth week and she’s only attending for half an hour in the morning and maximum 1 hour in the afternoon.

This is because she gets too upset and cries continually and can’t tolerate any more. It’s breaking my heart to see her have such separation anxiety.

the plan is for her to go to nursery 4 days per week but we are sticking with 5 days until she has settled.

has anyone been through something similar and have any advice? We have such a great bond, it breaks my heart so much to see her struggle with the separation.

I’d love to see some light at the end of the tunnel but I haven’t seen any improvement in the 5 weeks.

if you can offer me any advice, I’d be so grateful

Have you considered a childminder?
More one to one care, plus (as a childminder myself) we tend not to send home for excessive crying, and make a determined attempt to help child to settle, in 12 years I’ve never sent a child home for that, they do settle eventually!

Is the little one used to being left with family or friends at all, or is this her first real experience of anyone other than mum and dad? Is she happy to play and participate at baby and toddler groups? This could help you get a feel for how much is about little one's personality and current development and how much is about the setting.

What are nursery doing to help support her and you? Are the members of staff pretty consistent, and are they focusing on her developing a bond with a couple of staff members? Have they asked about favourite activities, songs, stories, settling methods at home, etc. to help engage her?

Is she beside herself the whole time, or is she crying off and on, but not distraught? If it's more the latter, another thing you could try is actually leaving her for longer. My eldest didn't do well with her settling in sessions, and after a bit, the very experienced room supervisor said that she thought that actually little one needed longer sessions so that she could get used to the place. She was right – longer blocks and she got much better very quickly (tears at drop off persisted for awhile, though).

Maybe a nursery is not for your child, or she’s not yet ready for a nursery setting. Have you considered hiring a nanny or childminder to assist in caring for your child at home? Some children feel aversion to unfamiliar places. Although you mentioned that it is her 5th week already, she might be uncomfortable staying there. Maybe even looking into another nursery would be an option, though such an option can be quite a big hassle.