2.5yo hit and scratch for no reason

[Snorlax000]

My 2.5yo boy has been hitting, scratching abd throwing things for no reason. He isn’t emotional every time. Sometimes he is happily playing and next moment HUGE SLAP 💥. Despite everything we have tried he seems getting worse. He caused multiple injuries in his nursery every day. I an afraid he’s gonna kicked out. We have tried telling him to stop firmly, teach him gentle hands, praise him when he is gentle, timeout when he’s doing it, have him face the wall, take away the toys he threw, teach him no hitting with plushies…I can distract him but it doesn’t seem to solve the root cause. He can be demonstrating “gentle” to me and then scratch the hell out of me next second. I snapped just now and I am feeling terrible now, but I don’t know what else I can do.

Have you tried a change of tone? You say you snapped, what does that mean? Shouting because you’ve lost your cool is not usually effective but to get a firm message across you do need to change your tone (whilst remaining calm). You need to get your “mum voice” going. It’s not shouting, but it makes them take notice and know that you are now serious, not playing. It works for changing negative, more serious behaviours like this, but it’s also a good thing to learn to stop them in their tracks when they are about to do something dangerous, like run out into the road.

it’s a firm, assertive, sharper, lower tone of voice. Think of a teacher reprimanding a student. That sort of tone. He needs an immediate, negative response that he takes notice of. A sharp “no, you must not scratch/bite” and firmly take hold of his hands to stop him. No detailed discussions, keep it very simple and clear. Look him in the eye. Then I would remove him from whatever activity you were doing for a few minutes. Then say “ok now let’s do x, but we must have no scratching, biting”. And repeat.

I could stop my DC (and other children!) in their tracks with my “mum voice”. Also works with my cat! It’s very useful!

I do agree with it’s getting your Mum voice going avd showing that it’s not acceptable.

Can I ask what Nursery have said? Are there any triggers to his behaviour like being tired, hungry, thirsty or needing a poo?

What strategies have they used so far?

I did for quite a while. It didn't work so I increased my volume and it's almost like shouting now. Probably need to step back down but he either doesn't relate the firm "stop"/"no" to his action or he chose to ignore me.

They are making each incident down to see if there is a pattern. I saw their big pile of notes and I was like omg...so many incidents every day. They can't figure out any patterns yet. Sometimes it's frustration for sure, and we all know he doesn't like other people. But a lot of times it's just completely random. He is playing or eating happily and then suddenly scratch the one next to him. He did that to me too.

They are just telling him no and tell him to use gentle hands. Remove him away from the injured kid. Trying to have smaller group with him to see if he can be less overwhelmed. They had a meeting with us and requested us to limit his sessions until this is stabilised. Then from next month they will get some extra support (so we have to survive this month first).

Do you know what help he’ll be receiving @Snorlax000?

Have they suggested seeing your HV and had their SENCO assess him?

As a first step it might be worth doing this simple progress checker to see if he needs any support with communication. That is usually the thing that can cause these little outbursts

Have a look at sensory processing and see if anything there resonates.

sometimes it can be seeking sensory feedback - especially when it doesn’t come hand in hand with an emotional outburst and is an action and then stops.

it’ll give you ideas of everyday sensory activities you could try and see if that helps.

I think they mentioned about some specialists. Not exactly SENCO.

My boy has speech delay and is already seeing a speech therapist. That said, a lot of times it doesn’t seem like he is scratching out of frustration for unable to communicate. It’s really random. Today he lashed onto another kid suddenly while both were happily eating.

I have also requested his HV to take a look and she will come later this month.

Ok so if he’s seeing a SaLT has he had a hearing test to rule out Glue Ear? This might be useful as Glue Ear can present in a similar way to some other things, like ASD.

Seeing your HV does sound useful. Has she asked you to fill anything in before you see her?

I would fill in the 2.5 year Ages & Stages and the 2.5 year Social and Emotional Ages & Stages.

You can ask your HV to score them at the appointment or score them yourself.