I need to get used to this …

[woahhisme]

DD (just turned 2) has slapped me, screamed at me, pushed me and had many many tantrums.

It’s normal I know and I know that it isn’t personal. It feels it, though. She was such a beautiful gentle baby and lovely one year old this behaviour has come as a bit of a shock. I know it’s not the first time she’ll take her frustration out on me but it’s so hard!

Clearly you don't need to get used to it sigh 🤔

Parent. Just parent.

yes

This is not something you need to get used to. You need to be a parent and nip it in the bud

It is not normal to allow your toddler to attack you

She doesn’t get to take her frustration out on you. Don’t just let her slap you for heaven’s sake, you’re not a punching bag.

Of course you parent, you say no, you move away, you reiterate it’s unacceptable, you do all the ‘right’ things. But no amount of parenting is going to make a two year old act like a five year old. It just isn’t; they will have tantrums, get frustrated and overwhelmed easily. It isn’t nice to deal with but it does happen and is normal.

It's not normal.

Neither of mine ever hit me.
Shout, yell 'no', cry - sure. Hitting, no.

No never had this sort of behaviour to deal with, I focused on giving limited choices, count down warnings to change of activity, structured evening and bedtime routine.

Of course it’s normal behaviour! A two year old has huge emotions but doesn’t have the social and communication tools to handle it. It this period where you parent those skills and help them communicate. Those parents who claim their perfect little cherubs never lashed out, didn’t ever say no are absolutely dreaming!!! its a stage, it’s definitely a challenge, it’s part of their development. Children are not born with perfect social and communication skills!

I would recommend "the book you wish your parents had read" - lots of good advice.

Any slapping or pushing she does need to get very immediate consequences ie whatever nice thing is coming up she doesn’t get, and tell her this. Plus no attention for while, if she tantrums let her get on with it in a safe space.

You can’t stop them trying it on but creating unpleasant consequences and being very tough about that does hugely reduce it.

What consequences have you used for slapping, pushing and screaming? Tantrums are normal but hitting and slapping you isn’t if it’s happening often. My dd was a very emotional toddler and had some huge tantrums but rarely hit me or anyone else. She got consequences if she did.

None of my children hit me, it’s not normal at all.

Naughty step, consequences talk needs to start...now!

Tantrums yes, they have big emotions.

Hitting etc absolutely not. Immediate and very undesirable consequences required.

Try not to be a dick.

Hitting and lashing out is absolutely normal.

But if you deal with it effectively it is minimal and quickly shut down.

I like Janet Lansbury's approach and find it the most effective.

Tine outs/ naughty step/ telling off all added fuel to the fire in my experience.

OP I had two very different toddlers. One who was sweet as pie and I thought it was all our parenting. Then I had dc2 and was quickly humbled and went through what you're going through. Yes it's a stage and it will pass. Echo that Janet Lansbury has some good advice.

I do like Janet Lansbury and it works quite well for us. She’s not normally quite so difficult (DD obviously not Janet Lansbury) but she has had teeth coming and it’s made her very irritable and emotional.

And she is literally just two, as in a week ago, if she was three in a few weeks fair enough; I’d expect to see some firmer consequences for lashing out but a two year old isn’t going to understand. I’m sure some toddlers never hit out, never tantrum, never cry or whine. Mine does, it happens, she’s learning.

Mine attacked me constantly...turns out he's ND.

I don’t think she’s ND, and while I’m sure ND children lash out it is something that’s considered normal for all children. It just shocked me yesterday as it’s never happened before. She’d been whiny and irritable and frustrated all day and when I picked her up to try to comfort her she slapped me! This post was reminding myself not to react stupidly and feel upset, although I was.

I do agree that you don’t need to get used to this. Hitting you is probably a complete one off, and not going to be usual behaviour for your 2 year old. Getting frustrated is normal and some
degree of dysregulation but not hitting.

Honestly- I don’t think you need to get used to being hit. You wouldn’t let her hit another child-why let her hit you? Yes, she’s having big feelings and you need to help her navigate them. But not by hurting anyone-including you.

"teething" isn't a real thing, its not beleived in any more, the first eruption causes a change in the microbiome, and further teeth cause a need to chew, but there is no pain or mood change associated.

🤨

Oh what absolute rubbish 😂 Do you have a child that's been through teething?

I suppose the crying and grumpiness before a tooth comes through is because of the microbiome, is it? And Calpol works as a placebo effect on a toddler? 🙄