Staying home alone..

[MumLifeUnfiltered]

So my 10 almost 11 year old wants to stay at home alone tomorrow with her friend(at our house). They would be at home for just over 5 hours and I work about 15mins away. I'm in two minds about it as I know she can be very responsible and well behaved but I'm just like is she too young? We live in a small and friendly village and I can ask my neighbour opposite to keep an eye out for me too. What would you do? She's been left home alone for about an hour or two before when we were down the road at the local pub and she wanted to go home. She has a phone as well.

Any advice would be great!! TIA xx

I personally wouldn’t, too much can happen in 5 hours!
Have you asked her friends parents what they think? I’d be angry if my son was in someone else’s care and they left them home alone for 1 hour let alone 5

Personally, I think 5 hours is too long. If you were popping to the village shop, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but that’s quite a long time. And definitely speak to the other parents but personally I think they’re too young to be left that long.

I have a daughter the same age and am very laid back but I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving her for that long.

Hell no. Can you truly hand on heart say that they can handle any emergency that may happen and make food, drinks etc and be okay.

Sorry a ten year old on their own with an 11 year old for five hours is poor parenting. The rest of your post is trying to justify this decision.

5 hours is too much time. How did the idea come to be?

I can say hand on heart she is able to make her own drinks and food. I don't appreciate the rudeness, I was simply asking a question. I said I was in two minds about it and the rest of my post was to give as much information as possible. I was not justifying anything as I haven't said yes to it. I was asking for opinions not judgement. Thanks x

That's what I think too. She asked me as her friends get to do it. I'm not very comfortable with it but wasn't sure if it was me being overly cautious or not. That's why I thought I'd ask on here xx

Definitely not

I wouldn't.

On her own I would consider it, but not with a friend.

I think five hours is pushing it timewise too. A few hours on her own definitely fine.

5 hours?! No way.
How long has she been left alone before this?

Thank you everyone for your comments. I appreciate it. I wanted to just add that I'm not fully comfortable with the idea myself, that is why I wanted to get other people's opinions as I wasn't sure if I was overthinking or overreacting by not being comfortable with it as I know other children her age from school are left alone. I do think 5 hours is too long and I'd be worried the whole time. I just wanted to see if I was right in my way of thinking 🖤

This was my thought too. I don't think my post came across right with what my actual opinion is on this as I wanted to just get other peoples opinions. The longest she has been left is between an hour to 2 hours but we were not even a 2 minute walk away from the house. Apart from that I've not left her home alone for more than like 10/15 minutes.

So I don’t appreciate you asking for advise and then being rude and aggressive back when you get it and don’t like it. It is judgement to not know that this is far too young and then set the scene that is will be okay because you work close by. She isn’t old enough and it isn’t acceptable.

You can honestly say your child would know what to do if there was a fire, or someone broke in, or if there was another emergency?

But government advise is here:

The law on leaving your child on their own
The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, for example at home or in a car.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:
children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time

So i stand by what I said.

Thank you, I was wondering if it had been "peer preassure" or something similar.
I would say that if something feels uncomfortable to you, even if you can't point to why, trust the feeling. Even if everyone here would have agreed to let her do it, it's what you feel about it, that matters when it comes to your daughter/children.
I appreciate it's a tricky age, though. And there are mixed messages flying around all the time, and parental "experts", and anecdotal information, and social media... So more than ever, trusting your gut as a mother is the best option, imo.

I don't believe I came across rude or aggressive but apologies if it seemed that way. I simply said I don't appreciate the rudeness or the judgement when asking for people's opinions. I didn't set the scene, I was simply just giving context. I don't feel comfortable with this myself but I was asking other people's opinions as I wasn't sure if I was just being overprotective. Thank you anyway for your opinion x

Thank you, I really appreciate you asking the question and being understanding. I spoke to my daughter and explained to her that I wasn't comfortable with it and it's nothing to do with trusting her. Surprisingly it went well 😂, we've agreed on her friend staying over tonight and I'm taking them to a holiday camp tomorrow while I'm at work xx

Update:

Thank you to everyone who gave their opinions and views! It's really appreciated. You all confirmed my own thoughts and feelings on this that she is not old enough and it's too much of a long period of time. I wasn't sure if I was just being overprotective. I've spoke to my daughter and explained I wasn't comfortable with it and it went a lot better than expected🖤

My son was staying home alone all day in school holidays from year 7. He is an August baby so would have been 11yrs 2 months first time. He was always fine, very sensible. He has just graduated, no issues from doing that in school hols a day or two a week.