This is a bit of a rant. DO your older children insist on holding your hand and velcroing themselves to you when out?

[saltire]

Becasue mine do and it's starting to drive me to distraction a bit
For example we have just been out with the puppy. We were walking through a field, along a dirt track. I had the lead with a very boisterous puppy on it, DS1 was trying to hold my hand and failing, so was clamped onto my arm, DS2 was holding my other hand, but whenever I tried to move either arm for any reason(such as blowing my nose) they still held onto my arm. I stop and they stop, I bent down to tie my shoelace and they were both almost on top of me, pawing at me, and arguing becasue we were on a little dirt track, which is only just wide enough for one person and we were all trying to fit along it.
Same if DH is with us, he has the puppy, and the 2 of them insist on holding/pawing at me, and if I try to chat to DH , they apeear either side of me, and I feel I can't chat. Then Ds2 wants me to "Play the alphabet game" so over and over we play guess 10 things beginning with A, B etc.
They are 10 and 8 now.
TBH I'm not sure why it irritates me so much, or why they do it. DH thinks it stem back to my mother who is very suffocating and overwhelming in her affection.
I do love my children dearly, but this is really winding me up, I keep saying "why don't you go and look for beasties ont eh plants", or "go and look for shells" if we ar eon teh beach, but no, they cling to me. DS1 though is far far worse than DS2, who will occasionally wander off to look at things
I feel better for getting that off my chest here, rather than say something to them which might upset them.

mine leg it off in the distance and only come back if threatened with bodily harm. Unless they are "tired" in which case they just stop walking and refuse to move.

It just seems to be when we are out for a walk. It doesn't happen if we go shopping - I have the opposite problem, they run around. They go to football, etc after school, they go on sleepovers play out etc and never bother. If however they are in thehouse and I open the door to go to the bin, DS1 especially is there crying, saying "where are you going, why is the door open etc". He will then stand at the door to make sure I am only going to the bin

Holding hands - whats that? Not in a million years would mine do that outside - DS's are nearly 11 and 8. One can hope eh!

They are very affectionate though when they are in and both clamber and fight to cuddle up next to me on the settee.

Maybe say that when you have the puppy you can only hold one hand and take it in turns?

My DD1 is nearly 8 and at a recent party she was like a limpet, sitting on my lap By the end of the party she managed to join in, but out of the 3 children she is the clingiest.
No helpful advice but my sympathy!

must admit i would find that quite annoying too, obviously lovely to get affection from your DC's but not letting you go would irritate me!

Do they do it to as a form of competition? kind of like he's holding mum's hand so i will too, so they have equal attention in their eyes

Have you asked them why they do it? nicely of course

That would drive me insane. Probably to the point of having my arms amputated

Well we are off out again, so let's see how it goes this time!

That would irritate the life out of me. DD is six and has never done that.
Sorry I can't help with a solution really other than saying no.
Are they being affectionate? Why exactly are they hanging off you all the time?
The answer to that might be the answer to solving it?

YES Saltire IKEXACTLYWYM!

My twins were like this for years and years! Eventually we got them out of it by making a joke about it, messing them about etc. Took a while though. But they are 10 now and have very rarely held my hand for about 2 years now. They will grow out of it eventually.

I know what you mean too. In my case it is my stepdaughter who is the limpet (although dd1 is shaping up the same - she is ASD htough, so quite anxious about things).

Dsd only stopped clinging when she was about 16. Shewas not a shy, anxoius or withdrawn child (quite the opposite!) but would glue herself maddeningly to either me or dh (usually me when out and about).

She had absolutely no concept of personal space (unless it was hers), and so would lean on me in queues (at tills, for toilets, etc), practically sit on top of me on the sofa (actually scrub that, she DID sit on me until I was pregnant with dd1 and pointed out that dsd was actually bigger than me, so it should be ME sitting on HER). She is a lot better now, but if I am having a conversation with just about anyone else, she will still come up for a hug (supposedly - really just an excuse to lean again!)

She is a lovely girl, and we are quite close, but it is the most irritating thing ever (and not really something that I can tell her off for, either!)

how did the walk go?

silverfrog - yes the leaning is another thing. if we are in a queue, they will lean on me, or paw at me whinging, and DS1 has been known to ask for a carry.
The walk wasn't too bad as Ds2 stayed with a neighbour he was playing with their child. So DS1 on his own was not as bad, although when I stopped to tie my shoe (again it's always loose) or uuntangle the dogs lead he came chargin back from his 2 steps inf ront to hold onto me!

I sympathise, saltire. One of my stock phrases is "I AM NOT A LEANING POST"

She has got better recently, mostly because her brother has started doing it to her as aversion therapy - she whinges after about 2 seconds, yet we are expected to put up with it for hours

It is so infuriating - holding hands, yes nice, hugs, great - being permanently attached to someone else - TORTURE!

IT's like a larger version of that experiment that school children sometimes do - the one where they have to have an egg to look after 24/7 to teach them that having children isn't easy or somesuch - I never did that when at school, so maybe this is my penance!

Thing is, will I upset/traumatise them if I say "For gods sake stop holding onto me or pawing at me"

are they generally unconfident children?

yes it would irritate the hell out of me ... I can feel your pain

I don't know how you have managed not to already! My dd was and still can occasionally be a bit of a limpet (her nickname in fact). But only when she is tired or unhappy in general. I think that you need to be firm to be honest, maybe sit them down (seperately) and talk to them about why it annoys you so, and give them the chance to tell you why they do it?

why would fgs stop pawing me traumatise them .. a knowledge of personal space is an important tool in societal friendships ... and yes parents have personal space too .. mine are aware of it, but then I wouldn't mind saying 'oh leave me alone you're annoying me'

You mentioned it not being so bad when you were out with just one, could there also be some sibling rivalry? I empathise with the pawing as my son has a habit of launching himself onto me when I relaxing on the sofa. He has a twiddle my hair thing, has done since he was a baby. Agree with Twiglett re not traumatising them by letting them know you need your space.

Oh yes, I know what you mean, don't I just!!!

With mine it's clutching my sleeves, not holding hands properly, but trying to suspend themselves from the Berghausen coat, which is the only expensive item of clothing I own.

To be fair, they have both got joint problems so are very unsteady and (at least dd) in pain a lot of the time, but I must admit there are days when I would be quite prepared to add to their pain

Should add that they are not at all lacking in confidence or social skills, and do not have a problem with other people's personal space; they just seem to see me as another walking aid, on a par with the crutches and the insoles.

And I am not at all shy of snarling at them to get off me; if they're traumatised, that's tough.

Went for a walk with db and his family yesterday and couldn't help noticing that db and SIL kept grabbing hold of their kids; I was the one trying to shake mine off

My two are not lacking in confidence or social skills (unlike me, lol), and i have been known to not only say 'FGS gerrof me', but 'Blardy hell are you a leech?', 'Yeeeeurch you are making me sweaty, it's disgusting!', and various other things. And yet they still kept coming back

Mine are 5 and 3 and I can rarely get them to hold my hand. They're always tearing off exploring and I'm constantly having to shout for them not to go too far ahead.

Have you asked them why they do it?

Oh My God. Yes mine do. Started with dd2, shes 7 and then dd1 thought she would get on the other farking side. I peel them off me and try and get them to walk alone but they cling back on. I want to DEATTACH them and it makes me really tetchy.