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Original poster

threatened 50/50

10 replies

mammat72 · 29/07/2025 19:44

long story short ex was emotionally manipulative tried to get me to have abortion i didn't. he said they wanted nothing to do with me or the baby and abandoned ds before birth. hasn't seen ds or paid a penny towards him and he is 14 months. i started a claim with the cms and have received constant messages, sob story, threats from ex saying he cannot afford it and it will ruin him. he has threated me via a friend saying he will take my son for 50/50 custody and that him and his new gf will raise him half the time, i don't even think the gf or his family even know my son exists. basically wants to reduce payments he has no interest in being a loving parent. i have asked him not to contact me and said the cms will work the payment out yet he is still harrassing me saying can we talk at the weekend. if i block him he will harass a mutual friend. i have a appointment with police as been advised to keep a note of the abuse. i just dont know what to do, he has offered me under half the amount cms would give me. do i take this for a easy life i know he is trying to manipulate me but the thought of my son being subjected to his narcism fills me with fear

OP posts:
FairyBatman · 29/07/2025 19:47

Keep it through CMS, he sounds like a nasty piece of work and you should keep him at arms length if you can.

Notmyluck · 29/07/2025 19:48

I would block him. Tell yours friends to do the same and if it continues call the police each and every time. Hope you have a camera at home too OP.

CMS work out payments. Take every penny you can. CMS only take the bare minium don't engage with your ex.

mindutopia · 29/07/2025 20:00

Give him a thumbs up and then block. He can take it to court if he wants. He’ll be laughed out of there for seeking 50/50 for a toddler he’s never met. It’s just an empty threat and he’s an idiot. Go through official CMS channels. Your child isn’t a secondhand car on Facebook marketplace that he can try to get a cheaper deal on.

Original poster
mammat72 · 29/07/2025 23:05

mindutopia · 29/07/2025 20:00

Give him a thumbs up and then block. He can take it to court if he wants. He’ll be laughed out of there for seeking 50/50 for a toddler he’s never met. It’s just an empty threat and he’s an idiot. Go through official CMS channels. Your child isn’t a secondhand car on Facebook marketplace that he can try to get a cheaper deal on.

Edited

honestly he was trying to haggle said i will give you £300, oh wait how about £400 a month how does that sound. then in the next breath he has said the CMS want to take £800 from him a month and he has debts and why am i doing this to him, it will ruin him. him telling a friend he will go for 50/50. i told him our son had a doctors appointment and he didnt even as if he was ok or what was wrong with him. like there is no way he should be around the child

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Cantgetausername87 · 29/07/2025 23:08

I know how scary this is to hear but honestly it's just nonsense to try and get you to back off. No way is that waste of space capable of stepping up for family court, and even if he did he would be laughed out for that.
Keep it through cms and ignore his messages, try to stay calm with no reactions. I know that's hard but nothing will happen x

Rainbowqueeen · 29/07/2025 23:26

Tell him that you only want to correspond through one of the parenting apps. I think its called "my family wizard". They are good because messages cannot be deleted or amended and also because if you know that's the only way that the two of you communicate then you have less stress because you know that you can check it at your convenience and don't jump every time you get a text.

Then ignore him. Claim CMS. It is for your son. Claiming it and paying it is the same level of parenting responsibility as taking your son to the doctor and providing his other needs. Your ex is just a twat who does not want to pay. it will not ruin him. He just won't have as much fun money. So what.

endofthelinefinally · 29/07/2025 23:31

Empty threats. He won't want to give up any of his time to look after his child and his GF won't want to either. I am sorry he is threatening you. You have had good advice from pp.

Original poster
mammat72 · 29/07/2025 23:35

Rainbowqueeen · 29/07/2025 23:26

Tell him that you only want to correspond through one of the parenting apps. I think its called "my family wizard". They are good because messages cannot be deleted or amended and also because if you know that's the only way that the two of you communicate then you have less stress because you know that you can check it at your convenience and don't jump every time you get a text.

Then ignore him. Claim CMS. It is for your son. Claiming it and paying it is the same level of parenting responsibility as taking your son to the doctor and providing his other needs. Your ex is just a twat who does not want to pay. it will not ruin him. He just won't have as much fun money. So what.

dont think parenting app will work as he isnt co parenting and is only in contact because he is trying to manipulate me to accept money away from cms i am screen shopping and keeping records of every conversation as advised by police. plus there is also the block button

OP posts:
SpringSpruce · 29/07/2025 23:42

He doesn't want to pay, but he's going to want a child 50% of the time even less. Its scare tactics.
Even if he went to court for contact it would be started very gradually in small amounts. And if he didn't stick to that he's got no hope of any overnights nevermind 50/50.

He's focused on money, I doubt he'll even want to pay the court fees nevermind give up his time and pay for looking after a child and childcare.

Original poster
mammat72 · 30/07/2025 00:03

SpringSpruce · 29/07/2025 23:42

He doesn't want to pay, but he's going to want a child 50% of the time even less. Its scare tactics.
Even if he went to court for contact it would be started very gradually in small amounts. And if he didn't stick to that he's got no hope of any overnights nevermind 50/50.

He's focused on money, I doubt he'll even want to pay the court fees nevermind give up his time and pay for looking after a child and childcare.

exactly but as someone who actually does care and love my son he is playing on using fear and threats to try and manipulate the situation i know he is doing it but still makes me anxious

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