I left my ex in December last year as I couldn’t trust him, he had become nasty and was a gambling addict who lied throughout my pregnancy and maternity leave. I had bailiffs at the door, the landlord saying he hadn’t paid rent, customers who he’d taken money from and not done the work etc. He also never stuck up for me when it came to his family. They came to the hospital after birth, I had a c section and could barely hold my son but they stayed for 3 hours parading around with my child, he did not ask them to leave. This continued in the weeks to follow but he always took their side.
I found it easy the first few months since leaving him, but for the last few months I’ve been really struggling, financially and with the mental load of working and being a mum. I don’t feel like I can cope anymore and have no other real support.
We split the parenting 50/50, my almost 2 year old has a strong preference for dad and I just feel a bit lost. We do things together for his sake and he always seems much happier when dad is there. I try my hardest with him but it’s never enough. I can’t afford to take him on holidays or even days out most of the time, whereas my ex moved back with parents when we split so has disposable income to do nice things with him. His parents also have a large garden with horses and tractors etc at the back of the house but I just live in a small terraced house with no garden.
I don’t know whether I should get back together with my ex for my son’s sake. I’m also worried that if I don’t get back with him then I’ll just end up losing my son as he will choose to live with dad as I can’t give him what he needs. I also worry that I’ll never find anyone else and will just be alone, struggling and unhappy forever. Is it a good idea to get back with him for these reasons?