Universal credit for solo parent?

[Sam97x]

I currently have a 6 month old baby who I share with my partner. We live in our own home with a mortgage, however my partner only comes home once a month as he works down south in the Navy (we live in the north west). Because of this I am the sole carer of our baby pretty much 24/7. could i be entitled to UC once my maternity allowance stops after October? Does anyone else solo parent because their partner is in the armed forces and is entitled to anything?
Thank you

You're not a single parent, you have a partner. How much time you spend together is irrelevant.

OP made a mistake. Get over it. OP just apply and if you aren't entitled so be it.

Could’ve just said that without making assumptions you have no clue on. Thank you :)

Thank you. There are some nasty judgemental women out there. Thanks for not being one of them. That’s what I will do.

It isn’t harmless. Other people are having to work ever longer hours and see their children less as a result because others are taking advantage of benefits to stay off work when they don’t need to. This also results in an attitude that all benefits claimants are taking advantage which is not true, means less money is available to fund those who are actually in circumstances where they cannot work or are disabled, and means there is a stigma where they are demonised.

You said that you can work, you’d just rather not. Of course it’s understandable that you’d rather not, but you can provide for your own family so you should, like many people in much more difficult situations than you are do (actual lone parents, often with more than one child. My two have disabilities also. I still work full time and always have).

It isn’t just you describing yourself as a lone parent initially that is infuriating, it is the fact that you are trying to investigate whether you can claim some money from the state rather than work when you state you could arrange childcare and work if you chose to, because you’d rather you didn’t have to do so.

It does have an impact on other people, both benefits claimants who actually need support AND those paying for it, and is a really poor attitude that you’d prefer to claim benefits if you can rather than provide for your own family, knowing this means other working parents will be subsidising you not to work if you are successful in doing so.

Where did I say I was a single parent. I put solo parent because I’m the only one here for her for months at a time. But I was wrong on that. Read the thread before commenting.

You should be having this conversation with your partner since you are looking after your baby together even if he isn't present much.
Either you work and use childcare, or he pays for more outgoings and gives you money, or a mix of the two. Or he gives you money for a bit longer and you go back to work next year or something. What does he think about it?

They mean the same thing to me.

It was a simple question asking if anyone is in a similar position to me and receives even the smallest amount as I’m the only parent at home. Currently he’s on an 8 month deployment and it’s very physically and emotionally hard. I don’t know how easy it will be for him to send money over in a few months time as he could be in the middle of nowhere. In no way have I said I should be absolutely entitled to something, and I get people are in worse situations than me, it was just curiosity. Please be kind.

it’s not the same thing. Single parenting is being separated from the dad permanently, solo parenting is being the only physically present parent for long periods of time

You're a family and you have given up your career to raise his child. Finances should be joint, all money including his wages should be going into a joint bank account that you both have access to.

I'm wondering if there's more to this OP - did you and your partner decide to buy where you are because of either/both family ties? If so, are you not getting any help or support from them? I don't just mean childcare, it's just that it sounds like you're not quite a military partner (on base) but not quite in your home territory perhaps? I don't have experience of military families myself apart from I moved into a big army area 30 years ago and I was in awe of the set-ups of the various military families - especially the mums. Some lived in military housing and moved around and some bought and stayed while their partner (usually but not always the man) went on tour of duty. The difference is, those that bought, bought in the military town. You may not like that way of life but the support between them (and the local civilian community including church if that's your thing) was incredible. I just wonder if you're a little lost at the moment and don't have the right people to turn to? I really hope that doesn't sound in any way patronising as it's really not meant to be! You really need to have a good heart-to-heart with your partner about the way forward and I think the best idea so far (short of moving to the military base) is to find a good childminder - and local support network. Enjoy your baby and I hope you find a good solution, for your happiness.

In your situation wouldn't it be better if you had a joint bank account? I've never done that personally, but what about if you have an emergency in the house and can't get hold of him?

Yes we’ve bought in our hometown. I can’t rely on family too much as they all work long hours. We haven’t bought down south because it’s much more expensive compared to the north west. I will do, thanks for your lovely comment. I am a little bit lost at the minute with it all, and I appreciate the kind comments so much.

I appreciate I was wrong in labelling myself as a solo parent. I also totally don’t mind if I’m not entitled to anything, it was just curiosity. I am in a fairly unique difficult position and I came on here for support, not to be made fun of, or harshly judged. It’s very difficult having a navy partner and raising a baby on my own most of the time, but I FULLY understand that there are people in much worse situations than me. I turned to a mums forum hoping to get responses off friendly people. Thank you to the small amount that have made me feel better about myself and given me some clue on how to go forward.

You really need to discuss with your partner. It would be fairer for everything to go into one pot and then each of you have a small amount transferred out into your own account for free spending. You haven’t said how much the mortgage and bills come to and how much dp has to spend while away. Does him working away involve food and lodging costs?

You can always change your mind about forces accommodation can’t you? Rent out the house you’ve bought and go to where the emotional and physical support is. As a team you make decisions that benefit the whole team?

I think you can put in a claim, but it would be for the both of you. I get that it is emotionally and physically difficult, but UC won’t help with that. If you are worried about bills not being paid you either set up a joint account for those or he pays them through DD. I don’t know how it works but surely his salary will come out of the UK regardless of where in the world he is?

I'm not just singleing you out. People are entitled to post and vent on here. I honestly don't know why people join threads and be goady. OP is asking here for advice for a reason. I think some people come across very harsh and rude on MN and it's not needed.

Craaazy 🙄

Search for the Forces Sweethearts board.
I think military housing would be good for you both.

I’d also like to add that I’m not work shy. I ran a successful business before having a baby, but I’ve lost that now. I am looking forward to working again, i was just seeing if i could get a little something for a few more months so i dont have to put her in care before she’s 1. If not; thats fine! Just asking! :)

Why on earth should you be supported in your choice not to work. That is not a very good ethic to pass on to your child.

As her only parent at home, I was seeing if i could have a little more time with her before leaving her with someone else. That is all. I’m not work shy, like I’ve said.

Wtf? How was anything I said goady at all??? So yes, you did single me out, and I’m flabbergasted and annoyed. It was intended to add to the conversation about how she can manage financially going forward as… actually. Nope. Walking away.