Anxious about new partner.

[MyPlumFox]

My DD is 10 and my recent XP has got a new partner who has kids from a previous relationship. I am a single parent with no family around me and have my DD most of the time. I am anxious as I am scared and worried that my DD wont want to spend time with me or would want to stay at my XP more because they have a whole family unit. And he is now taking her more places with his new partner and spending more money on her which he never use to do. My anxiety is high everyday worrying that I cant afford or offer her anything close to what he now has to offer. I overthink days out and the time I have with her as it feels like I am competing with XP to try and be the best parent I could be for my DD.

Am I overthinking and does this get any better? I have a fear of abandonment from this situation.

Respectfully, OP, why would your child in any way want to be thrown together with a bunch of strange children and a strange adult she doesn’t know from a hole in the ground? Surely the opposite is more than likely to be true — that your DD is less likely to want to spend time with her father if it involves compulsory contact with this unfamiliar ‘family unit’ in which she’s outnumbered?

In your shoes I’d be far more concerned with to your child’s father being irresponsible in introducing your DD to a ‘new partner’ and her children too soon.

Yes I agree, I have advised XP that not to expose her so soon and all at once but he hasn't listened and has spent every moment when he has my DD trying to incorporate her into his new family unit. He has said that his new partner is now his family even though they have been together for a few months and he is taking on her kids. So I am very anxious and worried about this situation.

At 10, your dd will absolutely not be blind to being paraded for new partner like a show pony and that his interest comes and goes depending on whether his new partner is around to do the work. It’s going to likely be quite painful for your dd and I would start thinking ahead about how you can support her. It’s not going to make her go running to this new family. It’s going to make her see how little interest he really has in her. You need to be a safe place for those emotions.

My daughter is always glad to come home to a relaxed and quiet house. When she is with her dad it is a very busy house. And she doesn’t have a room there or a bed. So being at home is a lot more relaxed and comfortable. You are mum no one can change that
my dad was the Disney dad. My loyalty was always with my mum. She did the hard work and bought me up. Dad was just an add on really. Keep doing what you are doing and be the safe loving person you are

Thank you all for the reassurance as I feel like I have been going round and round in my head about being replaced and being compared to the new partner. I worry alot about my DD upbringing as I worry if this will effect her later in her adult life.