Why do I have so much guilt

[Justme2025]

I feel so much of the unknown

I’ve broken up with my baby’s dad.
I have 2 teenage daughters.
my ex had a great relationship with my middle daughter.

when I broke up with him he was nasty said horrible things took my baby and demanded to have 50/50 even though he had no where to stay etc …

he’s since got a room.
he’s been “ok” I’ve said I only want to communicate about the baby she’s 1. He WAS bombarding me with message especially asking for money now this has all stopped and it’s like he’s just being normal with me.

SO much has happened he’s hardly seeing our baby only when it suits.
mediation is involved but waiting for appointments….
my teenage daughter is now feeling like she’s lost a huge part of her life and feeling sad which I get but now I feel like I’m in the wrong for doing this to my family …
I feel sad that it hasn’t worked out but when I look back I was a SHADOW of myself he used to control me without me realising …I was showing my girls that this relationship was acceptable and I wouldn’t want them ina. Relationship like that.

it’s so bloody hard.
I’ve said she can hve a relationship with him as he’s her sisters dad but I dunno how that works or I feel like he doesn’t deserve that …..

oh god my head is a MESS

I really feel for you. Me and my ex husband got divorced 12 years ago and I brought up my 4 daughters on my own. they were 15, 10, 7 and 5 at the time.
The one thing that I felt when he left was relief.. there wasn’t an atmosphere in the house anymore and I could breathe.
it was hard, really hard and I reached breaking point at times because I was juggling so much. But it was the best decision for us all. Of course it was tough at times for the girls but I promise you they all tell me they only have happy memories of being little. That warms my heart because I was holding on by a thread at times and really lonely so I must have done something right.
they are 28 (she’s married with 3 little girls now) done a degree in art and now has her own fantastically successful business as an artist (https://www.instagram.com/honeybeaillustrates?igsh=Y3JzejN3aXg3MmJs) if you want to take a peek! Is that allowed?! I’ll soon find out 🤣
22, just finished university in Manchester and hit a first. She’s really happy with her boyfriend.
, 19, done alevels, had a year off and travelled lots, off to Liverpool uni in Sept to do Psychology
and 17, doing her alevels and hoping to go to uni in Edinburgh next year to do Bio/chem

I have never bragged about them before but I feel that I can give myself a pat on the back. , it’s been a challenging time but they’ve come out the other end and I’m proud of them and me! The mum guilt is always there for one thing or another but all you can do is your best.
I walked my eldest daughter down the isle when she got married and that meant the world to me. ❤️
you will get through this. So will your children.
just be there for them. Don’t badmouth their dad. They will make their own mind up in time.
massive hugs to you all and if you need a friendly ear then please message because I bet I’ve been through similar shit to you.
❤️🫶🏻❤️