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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Struggling mum

2 replies

Daisydoo73 · 25/07/2025 19:28

Hi everyone so my 6 year old has been out of school since December, he was permanently excluded, he has a speech delay and he is under assessment for adhd and autism but I’m pretty sure he has pda or odd to as he’s so defiant, he’ll argue with any authority figure. There’s not really a day that goes by where he doesn’t kick off over something (multiple times a day most days) . I feel like I’m a useless mum, me and partner both home at the moment my partners looking for work, I think we are all craving some kind of normality now as every day I feel like we are trying to find something to do as son loves being outside and burning off energy. He absolutely hates being bored. I just sometimes feel like I struggle to be present (well I do a lot) my mind is just racing sometimes. Me and partner haven’t had any time together in these months I feel like we could really do with a date night or something, it’s just hard, am I just shit or should this be hard lol

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 26/07/2025 03:52

It sounds like you have a very bright little boy, possibly with SEN, who needs to be out and doing, to be learning, yet he is home most of the day, bored and without play mates.

If you are home all day, how have you replaced his lessons? Do you teach him reading and basic maths? Are you helping him with starting to write. Does he have a new reading book from the library each week?

Where do you take him during the day? Woods, canals, museums, What about sport? Junior ParkRun is free. Can you start to teach him basic food prep - how to make a salad. Can you buy a tomato plant or two from b&q and show him how to grow stuff. You only need a growbag and some plant fertiliser.

Until his schooling is sorted, you need to fill his mind and keep him busy. Tire him out. What about regular dog walking for the dogs trust or a neighbour?

Does your partner take a turn? It would be a break from job applications for him, a bit of peace for you and a good role model for your son. Can he take him fishing or playing kick about. Maybe you could write a basic weekly activities chart to create a bit of routine and to help your ds know what to expect. The more you can do, the easier it will be for him to return to regular schooling.

It sounds like you are all going through a difficult patch. You are doing a good job coping at all. What is the local council doing about schooling him? They have a legal duty to provide for him, and should be helping you.

BunnyRuddington · 26/07/2025 07:37

I do agree with looking for some local free activities and making a weekly plan if you can. Sounds like one of you doing the C25K with him might be a good idea?

It sounds as though you’re struggling though. Are you getting any time to yourself? If not, try and suggest to your DO that you both have clear time to yourselves to do what you want. Have you spoken to your GP about how you’re feeling too?

Are the LA providing any sort of education for him at all?

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