HV says to potty train at 12m

[Cinnabonswirl]

My ds is almost 13m, the HV says we should be potty training from 12m, all my friends from NCT have been told the same, but I’m not convinced? Surely it would be closer to elimination communication at this age? Since he turned one Ive been putting him on the potty sometimes and Ive switched to cloth nappies to see if that helps but I don’t know if I’m just making work for myself. Has anyone managed to potty train at this point? Is there any point making a proper effort?

Advice has shifted away from 'waiting for signs of readiness' to starting to introduce the potty from a year or 18 months.
It doesn't mean your child needs to be out of nappies at that age, just introduce the idea that wees/poos go on the potty or toilet.

As an oldie my DD was potty trained then. Though DS took a bit longer to not have wee accidents. But I was a sahm. Just sat them on the potty after meals whilst they played with toys -lots of well done if they performed. Soon got it.

This is barking. Mine was 2 and a half, and about average among people I know.

I think that would very much depend on the child. Neither of mine could walk at 12m so that seems bonkers to me. You can help get them ready by building a routine e.g. sitting on the potty or toilet before bathtime, letting them come into the toilet with you etc. Then you will out likely know when they are ready as they will show a keen interest in it. Otherwise 12m seems quite early!

18 months to 2 yrs was the norm, gradually has got later to the point where kids are starting school in nappies! 2 years seems a good point to be trying but be prepared to abandon if they aren’t ready

I was wondering what the evidence base for toilet training was and if it had changed recently.

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

What is the best age for potty training?

Most children are ready to master potty independence and lead in many parts of the process from around 18 months. The majority of children will be capable of doing most things including wiping by themselves when they start school.

Research shows it is better for your child’s bladder and bowel health to stop using nappies between 18 and 30 months.

The longer you leave it, the harder it can be for your child to learn this new skill and accept not having a nappy on anymore.

Eric is a childhood continence website that has a decent amount of experience in this field so I would trust their advice.

Potty trained at 12m? Do you mean gave them the chance to go in the potty or that you made an effort to have them out of nappies at 12m? What did you do and how did you communicate it? DS will occasionally go in the potty but I think it’s by chance that I’ve put him on it when he needs to go, not that he knows to ‘wait’ for the potty or not go in his nappy.

Interesting, you often see posts on here advising delaying potty training as it is much easier and can be done in a few days if the child is 3-3.5, but my personal experience over the last 20 years of childcare is that the ones who train around 2 seem to find it much easier.

I doubt she means proper potty training, it’s more about getting them used to the idea of sitting on the potty and what it’s for at this age.

Between 12-18 months, I did this with both my kids. I’d sit them on the potty whilst I ran their bath. Sometimes they weed or pooed (and I made a big deal of it!), sometimes they didn’t (in which case I said nothing). Did they know they were going to ‘go’? Nope. It was just lucky timing. But what it did do was teach them that the potty was safe and what it was for. My friends who waited until their children were 2 1/2 - 3 years old to introduce the toilet or potty had big problems with constipation/ withholding. Their kids were scared and wouldn’t / couldn’t go.

I prob started potty trading at 12 months so it would have been a bit later when out of nappies. We had some disposable nappies but they were prone to leaking so it was mostly the cloth type so everyone, baby and mum was keen to see the back of them.
There’d be accidents but you’d do it in the summer. Being young there was little chance of arguments - they’d sit and play with a toy. But after every meal, before bath, potty always handy. Every day.

With DD1 MIL said she must be potty trained at 2 which I tried then left it it until she was 3 and cracked it in a week so did the same with my next 2.

I think you are right about around 2 seems the perfect age from my experience in childcare settings although with my own children my eldest 2 were potty trained around 2.5 ish, my third was by 2 and all took a few days and a few accidents, child 4 was 20 months and again minamal accidents, child 5 was 3.5 (training since 2.5) and many accidents and took a year before any hope of success but he got here in the end but he is likely on the spectrum and this is being looked into and then child 6 15 months just whipped their nappy off and sat on the potty and now runs away whenever I attempt to get a nappy on them. So basically there’s no perfect age it just depends on the child themself. I do think though the more children you have the more likely they are to potty train earlier because they just want to copy their older siblings

My mother told me to potty train them the summer before they turn 3. It was the on,y genuinely good piece of advice she gave me. The summer because then they aren’t wearing layers of clothing. You can let them round about in a T-shirt and pants. Even better if they’re in the garden. Worked for my boys who only took a couple of weeks. (I can’t remember about nighttime but I think it was ok too).

Ignore the HV. One year old is too young. Two years of age and over is about right. My GS is only just 2 and tells me/his parents when he needs the potty. He wears pull-ups now.

All we were told at the 12 month check was to prepare for potty training. Not to actually start. We’ll be starting at 18 months by introducing the potty at bedtime and morning time, the same as we did with our son.

Absolutely nuts. I didn’t bother with any of mine until they were 3. When I did it was v speedy including overnight dryness. This is just a recipe for frustration. Honestly a lot of guidance is just nonsense.

Ridiculous advice. No need to do so early.

I used cloth nappies and put DC on the potty just to get them used to it (or if I could see a poo was coming) from around that age. DC just decided one day aged 2 and 2mo that they didn't want nappies any more so it didn't feel like I had to potty train at all! A few weeks later they decided they didn't want nappies at night either. We had very few accidents.

I'd do the same again. Incidentally I know many people who used cloth and none actually potty trained at one. I know one (Chinese, if relevant) family who did a form of elimination communication.

My children are now 31 and 32 years. In the 90s we potty trained from 2 but it was a total pain. My eldest grandson wasn't potty trained until the week before his third birthday. Straight into pants, one accident and then dry ( now 3 1/2) ever since. Once he'd got the hang of it he came out of nappies at night. So much less faff than when we did it.

That’s absolutely nuts!! I did it from 23 months which was considered really early in our circles

Jesus that sounds ridiculous and setting them and you up for failure. Dragging a potty around with you for months on end would be my idea of hell.

I waited until my DCs were old enough to understand what going to the toilet meant and felt like and I could have a conversation with them. We didn't even bother with a potty (though we had a downstairs loo, probably would have had one if not), just a seat and little step. They were both dry day and night by 3. I don't understand the rush tbh!?

I started introducing the potty at 6 months ( just sit on it during nappy changes) and by 10 months DD only pooed in the potty. Which was great, so much less messy!! And fewer nappies needed so money saved too.

At 18 months she took her nappy off and put her brother’s pants on. 2 accidents the first day and dry ever since, including long car and train journeys.

I think introducing the potty young is really good so children aren’t scared of it. And if you are lucky they might potty train themselves!

Potty training is now associated with regimes that aim to ditch nappies almost overnight. I'm that sense the Health Visitor was wrong. That can't be done with a 12mth old.

What she's not wrong about is that potty learning should, essentially, begin as soon as the child can sit unaided.

I'm sure we've all seen the reports of children starting primary school in nappies and so there has been a push to find the causes and some solutions. The children's incontinence charity, ERIC, have published the only evidence-based potty learning advice which is to start popping the baby on the potty as soon as they can sit and build up more and more nappy-free time until you feel ready to ditch nappies for good.

That's what the HV meant and what you're already doing.

The kids I know personally who potty trained very young all regressed and it’s telling their younger siblings were trained much later (still before three) as their parents did not want to repeat that again.

I’ve been told all sorts of shit by HVs. Good ones are like gold dust around here sadly.

This HV sounds bat shit crazy! Do it when you feel child and, crucially, you are ready.