Anxiety two children

[Anabla]

I have a 3 year old and 2 month old and up until now have felt I've really taken things in my stride. I had severe pnd and post natal anxiety with my first and it took me until he was over a year to feel better and it took me a long time to consider having a 2nd after being so unwell first time.

A lot of my anxiety surrounds my ability to cope and health anxiety. This has now really surfaced in the last few days. I am now having constant thoughts about them being both unwell, or the toddler being unwell while I have to look after the baby. My toddler having the slightest runny nose or cough can send me spiralling and I really worry about how I will cope if they are both unwell and about being too exhausted or tired to cope. My anxiety is now feeling out of control and I get the sense of running away like I did before and severe regrets of having a 2nd when life had felt easier before.

I'm awaiting psychology support and am on anti depressants and I have a supportive husband and family but I can't stop these feelings of anxiety. I know it's enviable they will be unwell and I'll just "have to get on with it" like other parents do but I honestly wish I could turn back time to when I had one or fast forward 5 years.

Please be kind with your responses as I'm feeling particularly fragile.

Hello, I feel like could’ve written your post a few
monrhs ago. I have the same age gap and had a similar post natal experience first time around.

Firstly I want to say the first couple of months are the hardest, so you are already smashing it! Secondly, we did have a real ride of it after my second was born in November - my eldest brought nits home just before Christmas and even though the baby didn’t catch it, I did and it was a pain! And then they both got coughs and then they both got tummy bugs and… none of those times were nearly as bad as I was fearing. We made it through and even with some laughs and lots of cuddles if you can believe it.

On the plus side, we’re in summer now too so whatever might come will likely be milder and pass quicker. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, so give yourself some credit and keep going!

You poor thing. I’ve heard that the PANDAS Foundation’s Helpline is very good. You might want to contact them whilst you’re waiting for some more support?

And remember, nobody chooses to feel the way that you do and you’ve done exactly the right thing in recognising that you need some support and asking for it