Young toddler "NO" phase!

[noramoo]

As the title says basically 😅

15 month old DD has realised she can say no and exercise some control and suddenly everything has become a bit of a battle - the pram (she started walking a month ago and now hates it!), toothbrushing, the bath etc. Outings have become knackering as she's super willful, won't sit still and only wants to do what she wants. She is quite verbal and has good understanding for the most part but obviously us far too young to properly understand cause and effect.

I assume this is just a developmental phase but just wondering if anyone has any tips and tricks for navigating?

Thanks!

The absolute standard age old hack is offer two options both of which are acceptable to you, rather than anything with a yes no answer, and definitely never phrase instructions as questions.

Don't say "do you want to get into the buggy now?" if it's a rhetorical question and you absolutely need her in the buggy! Instead say

"Do you want to climb into the buggy or shall mummy lift you in?"

This thread struck a chord with me as this is exactly my 19 month old at the moment! I have also tried the two options as a pp suggested but this was still met with a resounding “no”! I don’t have experience coming out the other side of it but if it helps I’m not worried about my little one doing it at all, I think it really is just a developmental phase and a toddler’s way of trying to exercise control and push boundaries. I’m consoled by the fact that I don’t know any adults who answer everything with “no” 🤣 so I’m confident it’s just a phase however I manage it by continuing to do what I need him to, i.e putting him in his pushchair/highchair whilst he tells me no whilst explaining to him why he needs to do it. So I don’t do a “because I said so, so get on with it approach”, I do explain the reasoning at the same time as I know he understands some of what I’m saying even if he’s still pissed off!

Entirely, toddlers are trying out their language and testing their boundaries, which is normal and healthy. Giving choices like this is a great way for them to to feel they have some independence.

The two choices is absolutely worth trying. I also had an early buggy refuser at about the same age and found that she did quickly understand a very simple, very consistent 'Hold hands or buggy' choice where if she refused both/didn't choose, I would – again, absolutely consistently – say 'okay, buggy' and pop her in. So if you can boil it down that simply, that can help for a few critical moments. Also a general pattern of 'if you don't choose, then I'll choose X' can help with the no-to-everything problem (even if you try to choose something they like).

For most, buggy refusing at this point is just a phase. If it's not, we managed with a little scooter – she wore a little rucksack so I could hold the straps and push her and stop her when necessary.

I think this is also the age where we started finding random animals in their mouths that had to be brushed out.

My eldest had a huge “no” phase (with me only!) as a toddler which was strange because he’s otherwise always been very easy going and amiable. It was infuriating but luckily he outgrew it. No advice sorry but I do understand how frustrating it was!