Hi all,
Second post ever, so hopefully you can give me some advice.
My partner and I just found out we are expecting twins - which was a shock to say the least! We are approx 9 weeks, and I have now started thinking about how we tell my two children when the time comes - we want to wait until 12 weeks for obvious reasons. (I have one son, 10, and a daughter, 5).
My little girl will be ecstatic - she has said multiple times that she would love a little brother or sister (never two though!), so I dont really have concerns with her. My son however may need a little more reassurance. He took the separation between my ex and myself quite hard and had a little bit of counselling to help him through it. He is still anxious at times but I have to say as he gets older he is getting much better at managing his emotions and is generally a really lovely, happy, kind boy.
I need to make sure that when we tell them, they understand that nothing changes in terms of how much we love them and that in no way, shape or form are they ever going to be replaced.
Clearly our attention will be diverted to the babies at times, but I'm very conscious of making sure they fell involved and happy when the time comes, right from the very start.
My ex-wife may be a challenge (I hope I am wrong) as I feel she will not take the news well, and that will probably rub off on what she says / how she acts around the topic with the kids.
We share custody 50:50, though that is a recent thing after a lot of effort from my side to have them equally. My partner and I plan to tell them over the holidays when we will have them for 2 weeks. The idea being we can manage the process in a positive, happy and loving way without any negative interference/influence from outside.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you manage it? I just want my children to know they will always be loved, and never will they be replaced etc.
I would also be interested to hear how people in less complex/sensitive situations have told their existing little ones they are getting a new sibling.
Thanks :)