Does hearing about everyone else’s babies hitting milestone get you down?

[EastEndGal]

Does hearing about everyone else’s babies hitting milestone get you down? My DS is 8 months, he’s babbling random sounds and rolling about but no where near ready to be crawling, having a nightmare weaning as puree and BLW is just not happening. Yet I have mum friends with babies the same age or a month or 2 younger saying their child is crawling, saying mama or dada, taken to blw really well etc. Like I want to be happy for them and don’t expect them to stop talking about it but I just can’t give them the reaction they expect.

how have people managed this?

It's hard, but you really do need to let it wash over you. I found Michael McIntyre rather helpful in this - he did a routine about kids learning and how they all get there eventually.

I remember feeling like this when DD was young. She was behind other kids her age with walking and talking but you wouldn't know it now. She is now 4 she doesn't stop talking 😂 all children are different and will reach milestones at different rates. It's not a race and your DS will reach those milestones when he is ready x

No because most children are at the same level when they start school.

Yes it does. I've got an almost 3 year old who can't talk. Obviously I'm worried because it's unusual. I know they all get there in the end, mostly, but it still chafes when someone is banging on about such and suchs kid talking at 12 months. Mine walked at 8 months but I wouldn't constantly point that out the way some people do. 8 months is still tiny op, it'll be fine

Not not really tbh but people often comment that I seem quite chilled about my life with the kids. Im not necessarily always chilled WITH the kids in day to day life like! But in terms of development etc I just try to see them all as individuals, I don't compare them to others. They're all so different children.

If it makes you feel any better though, my youngest is 9 months and not making any consonent sounds yet all and so not jabbering yet. He has been crawling for a few weeks, however neither of my elder two DC were crawling at this age. DC1 bum shuffled from 11 months and DC2 crawled from 12 months. DC1 also hardly ate any solid food until over 1 as we started to reduce her formula intake, we mostly did BLW with all our kids and they've all been different in their eating habits as babies.

It used to feel like comparison olympics in my antenatal group chat. If you were first to ask advice on something like teeth brushing, you'd get cries of "but my baby's older, they don't have any, are you sure it's a tooth??".

Been there, done that, had the anxiety and currently have a 15m old who has been crawling for months but is the slowest to walk.

Read or watch Bluey's "Baby Race" book or episode - will make you feel so much better ❤️

It can get you down a bit but if your baby is still in the normal age range for these things (it is quite normal not to crawl or take to solids till 10 months for example) just try to ignore the bad feelings. It got to me a lot when DD1 had a gross motor delay and was under the care of a physio and the other toddlers were running around but it helped the remember she probably wouldn't be bum-shuffling into reception class and she walked very late but we were more thrilled than anyone when she did!

Well i have never thought 2 babies were ever the same so a toddler walking at 9 months or reciting Shakespeare at 2 doesn't mean my baby was going too that so why would it worry me, I would rather people share things with me then we all are to scared to mention something incase somome chooses to be offended or upset

No, I never found other people's babies very relevant to mine. My son didn't roll over in either direction until he was 10 months old, which is obviously very delayed (and I knew it as my daughter had walked at 10 months), but I always had the feeling he would get there. The paediatrician said he was probably just too fat to roll after his premie growth spurt, and I'm pretty sure that was the case. He was twice the size of his sister at the same age so needed a lot more strength to get anything off the ground.
My baby who babbled a lot turned out to be hard of hearing. My baby who never babbled was talking like a 7 year old aged 3. It's just not worth worrying about until you have to.
Watching Baby Race on Bluey might help.

I think it's natural to compare and feel a bit down. But you need to just get past it.

Most of us compare, we can't help it. If it's not about walking/crawling, it's about sleep or food or babbling etc.

There have been a few times that I've been down by others milestones.
When she was a baby she was just so so different to the other babies there wasn't a comparison but it did make me down when I could see them sat quietly in a bouncer whereas mine just screamed.
Once at 20 months I watched my friends toddler have ai conversation with her just simple two word sentences. It was then I realised my daughter still had gotten past saying the odd word inconsistently. On the basis I reached out to my HV and got my daughter some language support so not all comparison has to be bad.
The one that really hurt was watching my friends 7 months old eat way better than my 3 yo, I had to leave lunch because I was tired of the fight with my daughter and just couldn't watch these babies eat in a way she never really did.

Most of the time I am too distracted by the wonderful things she is doing to be looking and comparing to others and when she was a baby I was too much in survival mode to give to too much airtime!

Babies develop at very different rate. My ds was walking at 8 months and climbing stairs at 11 months, but he didn't say a single word until 26 months. Nothing at all. I was getting really worried. Then it all turned around and he started chatting.

He was always the smallest in his class, and hated it. His spelling was a disaster. But now he has 10 GCSEs and is six foot tall.

You just have to let them get there is their own time. Keep an eye on milestones, continue to plot details in their red book, but don't worry. Listen to your GP.

i wouldn’t worry at all. Reaching physical milestones early isn’t a sign of intelligence. The fact that he’s babbling using a range of sounds is great. Crawling isn’t a developmental milestone anyway - some babies miss this step and just bottom shuffle. Relax! Parents will always boast a bit, it’s natural.

I did with my first as she didn’t sit for ages and did some weird rolling thing instead while the other baby group babies sat nicely playing with toys. It’s hard sometimes but they all develop differently, no adult brags about when they learned to walk! The Baby Race episode of Bluey is so great on this topic (yes I know it’s for kids) but the first time I saw it it made me cry bringing back those memories of feeling like I was doing everything wrong.

I do remember feeling like this. Mine was later to crawl/walk and talk than most.

He's now a summer born boy meeting all expected levels at school, with greater depth in maths and reading! His vocabulary is brilliant.
He's still not the most graceful/coordinated and he'll never win a race at sports day, but I can live with that!
Your baby will do everything they need to do at the time thats right for him.

Watch the bluey episode called ‘baby race’ and have tissues with you!

I never let it bother me . When DD was 12 months someone asked if she could walk , she answered how do you think I got here.

DS didn’t talk at 2 but wrote messages with plastic letters.

DD2 couldn’t talk properly at 4 , only I understood her. She could draw though.

They are all fully functioning adults now.

@EastEndGal You need to watch the "Baby race" episode of Bluey...

Another vote for “Baby Race”. No idea why it would appeal to kids but it’s a great one for
mums!

on the flip side, I am very fortunate to have a very healthy child who hit all his milestones on point and was quite advanced with his speech from an early age. I would get comments from a strangers endlessly about it.
However I almost felt ashamed in a strange way at baby groups, etc. as other mums would ask me about it and I could see them mentally comparing their own child to mine. I hated the thought they might think I saw him as superior somehow, or that they felt their child wasn’t comparing enough. And the truth is, it had really nothing to do with me. I didn’t do anything these other mums weren’t doing, I see them interacting constantly. This was all on him.

Please don’t beat yourself up about things. In a few years, the fact my child walked at 11 months and yours took 3 months longer (or whatever) will be a distant thought that means absolutely nothing.

Came to say exactly the same! 😅

I felt like this with my eldest he sat like a little Buddha and never crawled. I do not think he saw the point at 11 months he pulled himself up and coasted along furniture. Started walking within a few days of first birthday. He was really sound on his feet and I would say never really toddled either. He’s always had really excellent gross motor skills / balance. Struggles with fine motor skills though.

Smile and say “that is fab!” Like we all do…

except if they are the babas of your most closest friends you don’t really mind and same for them.

Do keep an eye on his development and bring him a lot to be with others so that he can copy cat 😂😂😂
he may well say a two words sentence before the other ones 👀

Shame they took out the laughing emoji! The little Buddha got me hard!

Dd1 didn’t walk until 18 months. It terrified me. She’s 15 now she got all 8’s in her predicted gcse grades. And she walks fine!
the baby stage is so anxiety fuelling I totally get it but it passes x