Autism easier to spot in second child ?

[hol92]

Hi everyone

I have a little boy with autism and my little girl has just turned 10 months old, she answers to her name and has great eye contact with us but she hasn’t started to copy us, she’s funny with certain food textures (the same textures as my son) she twirls her hands and feet all the time as he did
I know she’s still so young but I went through the same with my little boy and nobody believed me, he’s now nearly 3 and it’s very obvious

I don’t know I just think every time she answers her name or if she was to start doing anything like babbling that she’s just started, I that I Just have in my mind she will regress.. I just feel very alone and very much like I’m going through the same feelings I did with my boy, I just know in my gut… has anyone else been through similar ?
Thank you so much

Yes, that happened to me. DC2 was one month old when we were first told that DC1 probably had autism. 4 months later DC1 got official diagnosis, and after that everything that DC2 did or didn’t do, I was convinced he also had autism. It actually took until he was around 2 1/2 before I finally began to believe that he didn’t have autism. He didn’t talk much either – DC1 is non-verbal – until we sent him to preschool, and he hasn’t shut up since!

That’s so lovely to hear about DC1 it’s one of the things I worry about so much is him staying non-verbal so hearing your boy doesn’t shut up now it’s so nice :) I can’t wait to hear my little boys voice, did you find DC2 did do things that DC1 did as a baby so you just jumped to thinking they also had it? I feel awful doing it but today I’ve convinced myself she is, it’s nice to hear I’m not the only one x

It sounds weird, but DC1 Would dance and flap his hands to certain music, and DC2 would do exactly the same thing (2 years later and not copying). They also both used to climb into small spaces, including cardboard boxes and the - unused – fireplace. DC1 craves firm touch/squeezes, and for a while DC2 seemed the same.

I think you’re more aware of it the second time around and third parties (childcare, medical staff) are more likely to listen to you if there is a family history. Are your DC2’s behaviours similar to DC1’s? Do remember that she will be watching & mimicking him as, to her, his behaviours are normal.

The opposite actually. I knew ds1 was something, so assumed ds2 was standard, as they are both so different from each other. Then covid messed everyone's life up, so it was hard to know what was going on developmentally and what was a reaction to locking them away from everything normal. It was only after that it became so obvious.

I just want to make it clear, cause I’m not sure I have – DC1has autism, and DC2 doesn’t, despite me thinking when he was a toddler that he did, because I was looking for it and convincing myself that he did.

@HarryVanderspeigleso she is very different in some ways, he never cared if you left the room he carried on doing his thing, she cries and follows me everywhere, his eye contact wasn’t great and hers is really good, he never answered to his name (still doesn’t) she does answer to hers - so with this I initial thought she wasn’t

@WanderingWisteriaso yeah there’s alot of her behaviours that are different like above but also now started to notice a lot of similarities, she has the same aversions to the same food textures, she twirls her hands and feet constantly, probably worse than he did, she also loves spinning things a lot.

@Piffle11this is what my mum thinks I’m doing with her is just convincing myself because im
comparing them , I think it because I knew from such a young age with my first and everyone said I was being silly because was was so young but I just knew and even though there’s a lot or NT behaviour I can’t help but pick up on the things I know he did
xx

It was the same for me, OP. People tell me I was being ridiculous when I was saying that I thought there was something not right with DC1. I hadn’t been around babies that much, so at first everything he did was ‘normal’ to me, but as he got to around 15 months, I started to get concerned. I guess with DC2 it wasn’t so much a case of me looking for it, but anything that he did that was the same as his brother, it worried me.

Unfortunately, only time will tell x