My daughter is scared that she'll get severe acne like me

[TheShyScroller]

As a 35 year old lady, I still have severe acne. My sister and my mom still have severe acne. My brother had severe acne that cleared in his 20s.

My daughter is 10 and scared to death of getting severe acne. My daughter looks so much like my sister when she was 10. Both my sister and I started getting acne when we were 11.

My daughter has cried. She has even had nightmares about getting acne. I'm not sure what I can say to comfort her. If I tell her more about how my life was, it would freak her out more. I want to tell her something that's comforting and true.

Her father has beautiful skin and is an all around beautiful man, inside and out. I just hope her father's genes will save her.

Are you taking medication?

Just make sure she starts treatment if she dies develop it asap… reduces scarring

I'm on accutane. I'm prepared to get her on medication ASAP if I see one pimple.

I had a similar issue with my dd, in that there is a family history of acne. I took her to see a dermatologist as soon as appts appeared. We did eventually go down the medication route after trying a couple of other things and it was amazingly effective.

I'm happy for your daughter.

What's appts?

Appts is abbreviation for appointments.
I think you should acknowledge that it may be genetic and definitely talk to her about how your own acne affected your self confidence as a teen and as an adult, and that you won’t let that happen to her. Doctors these days are much more understanding about this and it IS treated as a medical problem instead of a normal teenage right of passage. There are lots of different medications that are very affective for acne and it is well-accepted that it is best treated sooner rather than later to avoid scarring and pitting, etc. From a parenting viewpoint you’re doing the right thing by treating this respectfully and kindly instead of dismissing it as superficial. She needs to know you’ve got her back and maybe even that you wish that you had had the same kind of support at her age, etc….

Thank you. But I still feel like I'm not doing enough.

Had horrific acne until I was 25 and so did everyone in my father's family.
None of my children did. How I do not know. My daughters had normal teenage spots.
However please remember that treatment will have developed so much from our day. And you are doing enough. You're aware, you're supporting your child. You're prepared. Well done.

I think appts is a typo and the poster meant spots.

One of my siblings children had acne, one didn’t. The one that did went on roaccutane for 6 months and now has beautiful skin years later. It’s a very effective treatment. Just reassure your daughter that if she gets it you will get her treated. My nieces GP was excellent with her, tried her on a couple of creams first and when they weren’t very effective, he referred my niece straight away saying that there is effective treatment so no need to suffer with acne.

Yes, sorry, it was meant to say spots!!!

I had a friend with severe acne as a young woman but I once met her mother - who was the most attractive 60 year old I've ever seen. She said the acne meant their skin was greasy and they never really aged! Honestly it was genuinely shocking.

I've just tossing this in, in case it's an upside you can sell... !!!

Tell her there is medical treatment to try, that the world is used to people having acne, and she doesn't need to be afraid because you'll help her deal with whatever life throws at her, whether that's acne or other things.

Acne is no fun at all, but the best thing you can do is keep your own stress about it under control.

Try not to pass on your dislike of the acne on to your daughter

I had terrible acne as a teen. Aside from the odd normal puberty spot, neither of my children have had it.

Is your acne linked to hormones, do you have PCOS?

usually acne is hormonal and (for me) it was PCOS. I went on the Yasmin pill and it changed my life. Post children I now take inositol and metformin and it keeps my skin clear. I’d be willing to do the same for my daughter.

I know how awful bad acne can be for self esteem, please make sure you are getting treatment for yourself and your daughter if needed x

@TheShyScroller She hasn’t got acne yet has she? Does she have form for cooking up anxiety without actual cause/looking for problems where there may not be any? Maybe she’s looking there to cover up other anxieties. Also could signal hormonal kick off. (I was nine if that helps, and my daughters were 12 and 14 when the period fairy showed up, if that helps. Your cycle doesn’t really predict how things are going to go for your kids…)

I've had terrible acne ever since I was 12. My teenage daughter (15) has beautiful clear skin and has never even had a pimple.

I have had lifelong acne and all my teens have clear skin.

I had blackheads and the occasional one on my face. The worst were on my shoulders. None of my three children had them.

I wouldn’t dismiss her fears, but I would really push that in the grand scheme of things acne is relatively small potatoes. It doesn’t affect your brain, it nearly always doesn’t stop you playing sports, it’s much more treatable than it was when we were growing up.
And I expect you’re thinking what the fuck do you know. I have psoriasis over 90% of my body and have since I was single digits, I am not without perspective. These days I manage it with light therapy and topical treatments and juggle that with my full time job and young children. The all over skin condition that had other girls wonder if it was leprosy when I moved schools at 13 is a teeny tiny little footnote in my life.

I think you need to pay it down a little, it's not normal for her to be so anxious about it. Do you and your sisters talk about it a lot?

I started getting acne age 10. My mum took me monthly to facials and to a dermatologist later on. I also started wearing a bit of make up at 14/15. All that helped a lot.

I then got on the birth control pill at 18 (Yasmin) which cured it all entirely.

So I think you need to be clear that there is lots to be done in this day and age.

I don’t disagree with the message at all but I think it’s a bit of an unrealistic expectation and wouldn’t go down well for most kids. As sad as it is most of the teenage girls I know care a lot more about being pretty than playing sports, or even being clever.

I have a (non skin) related issue that affects my appearance and I would’ve chewed out anyone that told me it was small potatoes as a teen. At my most insecure I would’ve preferred to be dead than look different on the outside- it really was that important.

Luckily now I’m like you and my condition is a footnote rather than a focus and I’m very confident in my body but during puberty there was no comforting words that helped. Practical things to improve appearance (I had surgeries and wore platforms to be taller) or distracting from it (I was allowed to dye my hair, get piercings, dress however I wanted etc) really helped on the other hand.

There’s loads I’d treatment for acne out there, no one should have to suffer with it.

it massively affects self esteem even as an adult but it’s much worse as a teen because other teens WILL mention it.

I have first hand experience of how life changing treatment can be. The combined pill is a godsend

@TheShyScroller Over thirty years ago I read of a small study in the New Scientist magazine. It involved children just going into puberty. So probably about the age your daughter is now.The children were given gentle antibacterial face wash to use daily. This routine was started before any acne developed. It was found to be effective in this small study. I encouraged my son to start cleaning his face this way when he was about ten or eleven.My sister also did the same with her daughter neither of them developed acne. My other sister didn’t get her two children to do this. They both developed quite severe acne. I know this is purely anecdotal. It might give your daughter some agency over the situation to start using a mild antibacterial face wash now? There wasn’t much choice of products when my son was around ten. He just used a Clearasil wash. It was over twenty odd years ago. I should imagine there’s plenty of products nowadays to choose from.