Husband wants to take son away for a few nights

[Motherof1and2dogs]

My Husbands Dad and that side of his family live just under a 5 hour drive away and he wants to take our son who will be 3 in September to his Dads for a few nights. I have always said to my husband I would only feel comfortable with this when he fully understands and can communicate to say if he wants to go home, is having the best time, misses mummy or is able to have a bit more of a conversation before he takes him away, and he isn’t this advanced just yet. I am very clingy to my son because he is so clingy to me, I have only ever been away from him for 1 night and that was to go hospital last week to give birth to his baby sister who is now only 7 days old. My emotions are all over the place as it is so I feel without my son I would really struggle and get upset, however this does give me a break and bonding time alone with baby so I can see a positive to it. He is looking to do this in August when he is off work for 3 weeks.

I did suggest us all going down there for a few nights, however they don’t have the space to accommodate us and we currently cannot afford staying in an air BnB, which is what we normally do when we visit them.

I want to ask what would people do in this situation? I would want what is best for my son overall and not just thinking of myself.

Eh, he'll be with his other parent.
This is how some fathers become useless, not 'allowed' to do it when dc are younger and everyone gets stuck in the rut of mum as primary carer.

Agree with everyone else.

I think this sounds like a lovely thing for dh and ds to do.
When you mentioned a tiny baby, then I was concerned for you, but there's a while before they go, and you've said your Mum will support you / spend time with you.
So I'm another than can't see why you would try and prevent this.

Lad and dad time is great. I think it should be encouraged.

My children are very clingy to me (ASD) but surely your DH is a capable parent and your son will be fine. My only concern is doing it so close to a new baby arriving as he may feel pushed out.

Well done OP! You're going to find it hard but it will be ok and it's the right thing to do. It's really lovely how excited your DH is about it. That's a really good thing and it'll be good in the long term for the whole family that you're both close to your children.

The post partum phase makes simple things really hard all round so do be kind to yourself. Get as much rest as you can and eat and drink plenty.

Assuming he's a pretty hands on Dad, the pair will have a great time visiting Grandad. It'll be lots of 1:1 time for them both.
Remember your body will be getting flooded with post partum hormones just now, which it's likely feeding your anxiety. You have recognised it isn't completely healthy for your son to spend so much time with you, this is a great first step to trying a bit of time away from each other.

I had a clingy baby who only really settled for me. When she was 10 months old I had to go into hospital for 10 weeks and she spent 2 days a week at home with dad, 3 days a week on the ward with me and I had weekends at home.
Was it hard on all of us, yes but dad got to become a care giver, I got some respite from being the sole carer I was before and she got two healthy happy parents.
Even at 10 months with just 3 words she was still more than capable of communicating that she wanted me and was unhappy but she was also receptive to being comforted by dad and their bond developed loads. For a few weeks after I came out of hospital he was the main carer.

She was over 2 before she had enough language to communicate verbally in any capacity (she only had 10 words at 2) but she was very very effective of communicating her needs with pointing and facial expressions. I think maybe your bar for communicating is set higher than it needs to be.

He might miss you.
He might get upset but you have to trust dad and his instincts.
He will also have precious time with his dad and extended family.

You are being really unreasonable!

He’s your child’s father.
Don’t you trust him?

When my son 2.5 years old my husband took him to Spain for 8 days and I had no problem as I knew my husband loved and cared for my son in exactly the same way I did.

If you can’t t trust your husband to look after your child five hours away then there are either relationship or anxiety issues that you need to perhaps address.

Congratulations on your new baby though, such lovely news.