asking for the loo...2.9mth DS

[busybumblebee]

Am i being totally unreasonable to hope/expect my DS to ask for the loo?

He's been toilet training for 5 weeks and i frequently take him to loo every hour, where he does a wee mostly every time.

I have tried to encourage him to tell me if he needs the loo, but would rather poo or wee in pants. Seems that if i dont get to him in time he will treat pants as a nappy. We have rewarded to the hilt but nothing seems to work. Today gave a cheap little watch "likes Daddy's" to help him remind him of the loo, but 2 accidents already this morning!!

Shall i just leave it for a while to encourage asking and try again when he's 3? Or persevere?

I am going nuts over this!!!!

yes you are, he's really young.

It's not that he would "rather" poo or wee in his pants; he isn't ready yet. He isn't recognising the signals that mean he needs a wee or a poo otherwise he would be able to take himself to the toilet.

He is responding to your signals, not his own. Putting pressure on him to do something he's not ready to do will only lead to problems.

He's not ready, you're going nuts ... take the pressure off both of you and leave it until he is ready, not until you think he ought to be.

DS is 2.6 and he tells me he needs to wee just after he's done it. Advice is to take him to the loo after he done it just to reinforce. Also perhaps you should consider not taking him every hour, I take DS when I go myself - I would have though you're training him to wee every hour at this rate!

I have been told that boys are slower to control bladder muscles so maybe thats the problme. I have taken the relaxed appraoch and have resorted to pull-ups for DS. We get to the potty about half the time and if the weather ever improves tehn I will strip him off and try and crack him then.

I would try not to strss yourself or him about it as you arent; getting anywhere and you've tried most things. Back off for a month or so.

I feel really crap now, i've been listening to too many others mums saying their children tell them when they need to go. | was beginning to come to the fact he wasnt aware of the signals he needs a wee or poo, but think i needed someone to tell me that.

don't worry about it - I am of the relaxed potty training school. I know that fwe people recommend pull-ups but they work for us. It means I can take him to the toilet but that accidents (of which he has plenty) aren't a disaster. I do tell DS that he should tell mummy when he wants a wee or a poo but I really don't make a big deal of it if I can help it, I do however make a big deal of it if he asks and how clever he is.

IME, once an hour isn't enough. When we started, I prompted dd every 10 minutes. I think they can only learn what it feels like through doing it, so she learned best like this. (ie the difference between sometimes going, and sometimes not).
After 4 weeks of this- she does now tell us when she needs to go, but soetimes is only 5 minutes between wees, sometimes 40 mins.
Their bladders are so small at this age, and they are just used to emptying them as and when, with no thought to it.
It also helped a lot for her not to wear trousers, as she could feel more easily.