Wanting another baby…

[Katiemarie96]

I just had my 4th baby 3 days ago and I am having this overwhelming feelings like an urge that I want to be pregnant again, i had this feeling after giving birth to my 3rd baby 21 months ago and the feeling never went away and we now have our sweet little boy after having 3 girlies. These feelings are so strong and never went away like everyone told me they would and I feel exactly the same.. I got pregnant with baby number 4 when my daughter turned 1. Did anyone else have these feelings and go on to have another baby soon after giving birth? I know not to get pregnant straight away. I have had 4 normal straight forward vaginal deliveries aswell so it’s not like I have complications with my pregnancies or births. My children are 10,7, 21 months and my youngest is 3 days old, I just love being a mum so much even though it might seem chaotic at home with 2 under 2 I am absolutely loving it so much. Just so confused because if I did get pregnant with my 5th I would be worried people would judge me for having a large family and I know I shouldn’t really care what others think but I have high anxiety anyway. I absolutely love pregnancy and birth and just having babies in general. Any advice or stories or anything I’d love to hear it

Congratulations!

I suppose the sensible advice from these sort of threads is always: Park your thoughts for now and focus on your new baby for at least the next year. Think about the expense of raising another child. What if you suffered in pregnancy or birth or a future child was unwell, impacting your existing children? What would one more child give you that four do not? The environment.

BUT I totally understand your feelings! I can only regurgitate the above advice as I’ve read all the “should I have an 3rd/4th child” threads. My third is a few weeks old and I convinced myself this would be it, but I was worried I would want a fourth. I still want a fourth. 🙈

Some people get addicted to the newborn baby stage and dont see past that, or disengage as they outgrow their cuteness.
Im not saying you are like this but think about if there's an element of enjoyment you only get with a new baby.
I have 3 children, 17, 13 & 9 and in my opinion their needs actually get more complex and time consuming than the newborn time and baby years.
It's something to think about at least and more important that what others will judge you for.

It’s hormones, that’s how nature works, an animal drive to reproduce. Doesn’t mean you have to listen to them if you don’t want to!
I felt like this after both my children were born, I can remember discussing it with the health visitor! And then again when peri-menopause kicked in at 39/40. A rush of hormones to the brain is a powerful force!
of course nothing stoping you having a 5th if you can give all 5 a good life, but don’t underestimate how expensive teenagers are and how much they still need you in a different way to little kids.

Hormones. Park it for now.

It’s hormones, don’t act on anything for a little while.

If in 18-24 months you still want another baby, discuss with your partner and see if he wants another. If he does, consider if you can afford another one and can you give them all enough of your time. If the answer to all of those is yes, crack on. If the answer to one of those is no, accept that four is your limit for whatever reason.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

YABU
@TomatoSandwiches has made an excellent point about older children needing you more.

Never underestimate how hard parenting teenagers can be. A kiss and a cuddle makes everything better for a 3 year old. It won't make the bully stop bullying your 14 year old.

Also, never underestimate how expensive teenagers are - school uniform, shoes, clothes, mobile phones, laptops for school homework, driving lessons, support through university etc.

Finally, never underestimate the stress of GCSEs, A levels, UCAS etc.

Just stop and use your head and don't allow your hormones to overrule you.

What does your partner say?

I was sterilised after #4 a head over heart decision which was tough to make and I grieved a lot. I love love love being a mum.

The teenage years nearly finished me. It’s really hard when you can’t it all better and protect them etc.