Second baby before or after house move?

[RoomToDream]

As the title says, should we try and move to a 3 bed house before TTC a second child? I know the logical answer is to move house and gain more space before having a second baby but I'm feeling so broody. The stress of a house sale and move isn't an enticing prospect either.

I'm looking for neutral perspectives to see if I'm being silly.

We have a lovely 2.5 year son and I'm going to be 34 before the end of the year. So no big time pressure. However, I suffered from recurrent miscarriage before having my son and while I can try the same drug regime again, a part of me worries trying for another won't be easy.

Our 2 bed is a gorgeous period property with 2 decent sized double bedrooms and an inexpensive mortgage. We have space for a conservatory/orangery if needed in future. So with one child we could stay here.

There is a massive premium on 3 bed houses and the current interest rates will be a jump up. Still affordable but not something I want to commit to if we can't have a second child.

My DH thinks I'm being too pessimistic and we will regret not doing this now when we have to move with two children. Is he right?

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to be honest. We were in the exact same position - daughter turned 2 last summer and we started thinking of a 2nd. We live in a 2 bed flat and decided to begin house hunting before TTC... Fast forward to now, we've made 10 offers on properties, all unsuccessful, and I'm 5 months pregnant with no 2. I suspect we will still be in our 2 bed when he's born, though you never know!

We are looking in a particularly competitive market where houses are very expensive and moving very fast (Scotland so different system to rest of UK) hence the difficulty buying of anywhere.

It does stress me out a bit but I know the baby will be in with us for at least 6 months and if push comes to shove we will start looking at cheaper areas to buy in after she's born if we feel too squashed.

I was personally reluctant to put off TTC for too long, as I knew longer term I'd regret not having another child more than not being in the ideal home and I still stand by that even though I'd love to have both! Maybe you could set a time limit i.e. house hunt for 3 months, then start TTC and just see what happens? Given you can extend your house, and presumably you have a garden, it sounds as though you would manage fine in your house with 2 kids if it came to that!

I’ve moved with no children and one child and two children. Honestly, one or two children made no difference. It’s a hassle either way, but if you need to pack boxes around one or do viewings with one, it’s no more difficult really with 2.

I would probably be inclined to have a baby first, get through mat leave when a higher mortgage would be a stretch, and move after you’ve gone back to work. Baby will be with you for a while anyway and you can make sharing with a toddler work as needed. Ideally you will have access to some funded childcare then too.

My experience has been that getting pregnant, even in my late 30s, was a piece of cake. But buying our house was an absolute bloody nightmare. It took us almost 3 years to the day of offers and chains collapsing to actually move!

Baby first. Save money. Baby will be in the bedroom with you for the first 6-12 months anyway.

Like others have said it’ll be stressful either way, just don’t commit to a move whilst pregnant I’d say, your body doesn’t need that stress

If you factor in ttc and pregnancy and then how long baby is in with you (and 6 months is the minimum) then it could easily be 18 months to 2 years before you need another room. And they could share a room.

Move first, and extra child will reduce the size of mortgage you could get

we are in the exact same situation! Only difference is il be 31 this year, and daughter will be 6! So I really do not know what to proritise.
sometimes I feel like the longer I leave TTC the more comfortable I’ll get with the independence.

have you made a decision or given it any further thought

Baby first