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Threes a crowd

2 replies

Mummyonthego23 · 16/07/2025 12:27

We are currently experiencing threes a crowd with my little ones group of friends. My child has been friends with 1st friend since starting school and considers them to be best friend the other has joined them not long after and both are best friends. They have been great for months but now have my child home most days crying and upset. From what my child has told me 2nd friend is very possessive of 1st and will not let them play together if they play with 1st friend 2nd will drag 1st away by arm to play with them. 2nd friend will only play with 1 at a time and thats if they choose to play with mine and not let them play all together which my child wants so no one is left out. My child is sociable and will play with others when this happens but is still upset. Recently my child has been so pushed out with comments such as your not allowed to play with 1st friend. I hate you. Go away. Find someone else. I will be angry if you tell by 2nd friend. My child has also told me how 2nd friend is also only playing with them when 1st is off sick and telling them to pick them for class activities or they will be angry. She still considers 2nd friend a best friend too and is scared to make them angry and would rather be upset and not play with 1st friend if it makes 2nd friend happy and maybe be nicer. I have explained this is not right and needs to still play with everyone including 1st friend. I am just struggling with how to deal with all of this as i cant have my child so upset and having school life controlled by a child. So any advice would be much appreciated on how i can try and help my child without making things worse for them or causing a bigger issue for them at school. Do i try and speak to other parents or go to the school with these problems? Will this settle or get worse? Should i interfere or leave kids to be kids?

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Mummabear04 · 16/07/2025 13:49

Hi OP, I have had a similar experience with my DD this school year. We spoke to her teacher and asked her to help with the friendship triangle. I also made an effort to have play dates with other girls, I think it's really important that they don't rely on just one friend. It's so hard and heartbreaking to see your LO so upset but just support her as best you can and make her feel comfortable and loved at home, extra cuddles and attention or little treats to ease the discomfort outside of the home.

Mummyonthego23 · 16/07/2025 14:26

Mummabear04 · 16/07/2025 13:49

Hi OP, I have had a similar experience with my DD this school year. We spoke to her teacher and asked her to help with the friendship triangle. I also made an effort to have play dates with other girls, I think it's really important that they don't rely on just one friend. It's so hard and heartbreaking to see your LO so upset but just support her as best you can and make her feel comfortable and loved at home, extra cuddles and attention or little treats to ease the discomfort outside of the home.

Thank you i am trying as best i can. We could try speaking to school and see if they can help. Just heartbroken that my child feels they would rather chose to be upset for another to be happy and for the behaviour happening to stop towards them. They will play with others but obviously its not the same which is why they are still upset after. And i dont even know how the 1st friend feels as they must be affected by it all too.

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