Toddler won’t go near the baby

[Redhats]

I have a 2 year old and almost 5 month old.
Toddler was 21 months when I had my second baby, when she was born it did unsettle him. Sleep went out the window, he was very emotional and clingy to me etc and he didn’t interact with the new baby at all. We left it all on his terms and didn’t push the baby on him.

We’re almost 5 months in now and not a lot has changed. He still pretty much ignores her all day, he won’t go anywhere near her. I’ve not got a single photo of them together as he cries and runs off if I try to bring the baby close to him physically. He will talk to her, say bye to her if he’s going out or say night night when he goes to bed, and very occasionally he’s asked where she is.

I know he’s still young himself but is this normal? All my friends with 2 don’t have this, their toddlers play with the baby, cuddle the baby etc . I don’t think my son has ever touched her, he does occasionally air kiss her from about 3ft away.

Anyone experienced similar ? Will it get better? I keep feeling like I’m doing something wrong.

Hi @Redhats I don’t’ know if this helps, but my DD was 21 months old when my DS was born. She basically just ignored him, would walk past him and glance down, but showed no interest in him at all. A friend of mine had children with the same age gap and the older one was totally devoted to the baby, so I too thought I was doing something wrong.

It was when my DS started interacting more, making noises, gurgling, etc that my DD finally started paying attention to him. I think she then realised he could be some sort of playmate. At the very least she found him funny. In their toddler years they were great playmates and could play for hours together, so it can work out.

I think it’s a good sign he talks to her from time to time. I would definitely continue to not push it and maybe as she gets older he will start interacting more.