High school age kids-childcare

[Pickingmyselfup]

My eldest will be starting high school next year (2026) and I'm considering what happens with him befor/after school/during the holidays.

At the minute I work school hours and this can continue unless I get a full time job which requires a commute. At the moment I'm on the doorstep of our house and only a mile away from their current school, 2 from the furthest high school. I can up my hours if we need the money and still be around for the kids.

However, if I wanted a different job, how does it work when there are no childcare options available? We use a mixture of us, holiday clubs and grandparents at the moment which works great but the holiday clubs and before and after school care stop age 11.

I don't feel like he's mature enough to let himself in/get himself ready for school without me being there especially as he will have not long turned 11. I'm not sure it's worth pursuing a "proper" job until I get my youngest into year 8 (he's going into year 3 this September)

What does everyone else do?

I would use this year to get him much more independent. My six year old gets himself dressed for school without prompting (sometimes, not suggesting he's an angel but he can and does do it).

Most schools allow Y6 and even Y5 to walk to and from school on their own, so a lot of those kids will be going back to an empty house. Start being out sometimes so he's alone for half an hour, increase to an hour, etc.

Do you leave him at home on his own at all now?

At 11 he could do all these things- most kids can if no Sen. Some parents struggle with letting their kids become independant. Why don't you prepare him properly? Open/close the door with him- go through the motions. Let him go somewhere safe on his own and come back alone. Do it gradually to build up his confidence and work on your anxiety (not having a dig at you- I've been there as well-it's hard).

Lots of high schools they can still go early and leave late just not staffed the same, so they can go and buy toast from 8 and hang in canteen and library open until 4.30 so maybe check that at for the high school you are looking at.
The speed they become independent over a few months is amazing so give the opportunities for this where you can

I agree with the above... officially my DDs are at school 8.30-2.45 but actually there 8-4 most days, either clubs or using the library.

But due our circumstances they ate used to be home for several hours by themselves, from in Yr6.

However they can only become independent if we allow to become independent. Its not something that just happens.

We ate lucky that we don't need to leave them home alone every day in the holidays, but they would be fine.

No, I did once last year for half an hour because I had to get his brother to school and he was off sick. He got really scared and ever since I can't even open the front door without him panicking! I've only just been able to get him to meet me further away from the school gates.

I want to try and encourage the independence so it's not such a shock to the system but I don't know where to start when I can't even start with baby steps.

The shop is a 5 minute walk, I think he will walk there but not stay at home whilst I did it.

I think rather than find childcare you need to get help with his anxiety. DD is the same age and can walk places and catch a bus, some of her peers cycle home. There are holiday clubs round her that go to 14 but we will be using them for socialising and activities rather than childcare.

I think you need to unpick why he was scared and maybe get help for his anxiety.
Saying that my now year 8 is a summer born and wasn't happy to be left alone in year 5 (and indeed didn't seem ready), but they grow up a lot in year 6. By the end he was happy walking to and from school and being home for a bit after.
Now he's rarely the last one to leave the house as I mostly work from home, but can manage to lock the door if he is. He does still need someone to make sure he wakes up but can do the rest of the morning routine himself. He does still do holiday clubs (there are some that go to 14), but that's more to break up the day and get him off the switch as he'd definitely be fine if I'm working from home and probably be fine if I wasn't (I don't trust him to cook but he can make a sandwich etc).

What was he scared of? Does he have mental health problems or SEN that you haven't mentioned? That seems quite unusual for a child of his age.

His reaction is unusual. Most secondary school children exc SEN would be fine with this.

This.

you need to unpick what he’s scared of and get him some support before this escalates.

he is finishing year 5 now? So 10 yo? Most kids that age are ok to be left for an hour or so, or pop to the shops on their own.