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Mum rage

11 replies

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 12:17

Just reading about “mum rage” today and feeling weird about it… since having my second child I feel so quick to anger all the time and it’s like I’ve regressed emotionally. I can’t regulate my emotions anymore, sometimes I’ll just start sobbing or I’ll snap and shout in anger at my kids. No matter what I do, I can’t keep up a pattern of not getting angry. I know my triggers and the wider background to it- I’ve really struggled feeling alone on maternity leave, feel extremely resentful at having little time to myself, permanently exhausted, constantly cajoling my eldest to do the same things I always tell her to do that don’t get done… I end up just snapping. Has anyone else experienced this before… and what worked for you? I want to be a better mum to my kids
i feel happy some of the time so I’m not sure if it’s depression, I’d liken it more to complete burnout and running on empty 95% of the time

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anitarielleliphe · 13/07/2025 15:05

What is your support system like? Who is that and where do they help out and how? It might help us give advice if you provide more background on the environment and the true load of parenting.

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 19:38

anitarielleliphe · 13/07/2025 15:05

What is your support system like? Who is that and where do they help out and how? It might help us give advice if you provide more background on the environment and the true load of parenting.

Well, I have my mum who helps out a lot with my eldest- picking her up from school sometimes and taking her to her clubs a couple of times a week. Her dad isn’t in the picture really, he sends me money but apart from seeing her once every few months doesn’t help out with any of her school work, clubs etc.
we all live together with my partner and our baby, and my partner is… ok? I guess? He’s a good dad to our baby but all of the general admin and mental load is left to me for both kids- he’s not really a very involved stepdad unfortunately
just writing this out makes my heart hurt, I tried to do everything to make my eldest happy and secure and feel so keenly that I’m falling short sometimes because she deserves better
im running myself ragged trying to create this family dynamic and it’s killing me, but my partner won’t see my eldest as his responsibility and to be honest with the baby he won’t feed her for example until I point out she needs feeding
whenever my eldest needs anything she only asks me and I have to be this go between her and her stepdad… then the vast majority of care of the youngest also falls on me!
im starting to feel resentful, we bought a gorgeous house together and were financially secure, my eldest finally has a sibling but it still feels so fractured to me and I feel run ragged trying to uphold this family dynamic that doesn’t work and exhausts me and I end up shouting and angry
maybe it is depression, I feel completely unconfident in my parenting abilities atm I just feel like a shell of myself, a husk thats been dried out
i feel like I need to run away for a year, go into intensive therapy and maybe only then I will feel ok

OP posts:
Myusername19 · 13/07/2025 19:54

Is your sleep broken? Ime this gets better with time, more sleep, doing things you enjoy at night when the kids sleep that isnt screens, getting outside most days.

Interested in this thread?

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johnd2 · 13/07/2025 20:14

Sounds like an impossible situation really, I can not really blame you for getting snappy.
To be honest we all have a view about what kind of life we want to give our kids but the hardest part is all those points where you realise it's all on you to make it happen and you literally don't have it in you to make it happen without sacrificing yourself completely.
We are lucky to have a bit of a (paid) village, with a couple of childminders, and school, it does take the load off a bit. But never a chance to spend a day being yourself.
I think the key thing is you are only in control of yourself, so have a think through about what stuff you can unilaterally drop to give yourself a bit of time and mental space.
It could be resorting to beige food 5 night a week, having a nap when your child naps instead of doing the cleaning/washing up, not taking your little one to clubs and rhyme time as much, or any number of other things. Once you can get that chink of yourself back it starts to feel better (gradually)

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 20:50

Myusername19 · 13/07/2025 19:54

Is your sleep broken? Ime this gets better with time, more sleep, doing things you enjoy at night when the kids sleep that isnt screens, getting outside most days.

It is to be honest, my sleep is terrible and the baby still wakes up in the night for feeds. I hope it will improve soon!

OP posts:
lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 20:51

johnd2 · 13/07/2025 20:14

Sounds like an impossible situation really, I can not really blame you for getting snappy.
To be honest we all have a view about what kind of life we want to give our kids but the hardest part is all those points where you realise it's all on you to make it happen and you literally don't have it in you to make it happen without sacrificing yourself completely.
We are lucky to have a bit of a (paid) village, with a couple of childminders, and school, it does take the load off a bit. But never a chance to spend a day being yourself.
I think the key thing is you are only in control of yourself, so have a think through about what stuff you can unilaterally drop to give yourself a bit of time and mental space.
It could be resorting to beige food 5 night a week, having a nap when your child naps instead of doing the cleaning/washing up, not taking your little one to clubs and rhyme time as much, or any number of other things. Once you can get that chink of yourself back it starts to feel better (gradually)

Thank you for your kind words! Yes, I think I need to make self care a priority to claw some time back to myself. I can’t go on like this :(

OP posts:
Myusername19 · 13/07/2025 21:24

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 20:50

It is to be honest, my sleep is terrible and the baby still wakes up in the night for feeds. I hope it will improve soon!

I understand 🙈 im still feeding my 2 year old 4 times a day. It took until about 21 months old to start getting only one feed a night and some nights he doesn't feed at all. Ive been through this 3 times and i honestly think the more you breastfeed, the more they wake up for it.

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 22:06

Myusername19 · 13/07/2025 21:24

I understand 🙈 im still feeding my 2 year old 4 times a day. It took until about 21 months old to start getting only one feed a night and some nights he doesn't feed at all. Ive been through this 3 times and i honestly think the more you breastfeed, the more they wake up for it.

21 months… oh no!!
interesting, she is a bit of a fiend for breastfeeds at the moment. She’s just grown four lovely teeth though, which are gorgeous but my word I’m touched out by her grazing and biting me

OP posts:
Pinklilly · 13/07/2025 22:37

Hi @lavenderdinosaur i experienced this too and felt a lot of shame around it. I had never snapped at my eldest until my second came along. I looked into it and it is a known aspect that some women experience post partum.

for me it was identifying what are the physical factors that contribute to this- mine was lack of sleep and lack of me time.
to remedy this I did work on my youngest daughters sleep, I used a guide and it was life changing!
the second was I woke up earlier than everyone else and I used that time to get ready/ have a tea/ go for a walk/ scroll my phone. Anything really but that helped a lot as I finally felt some part of the day was mine
after a while I did start exercising again which helps my mood a lot.

it sounds like your physical factor may be the mental load, it’s frustrating but spelling out some things you do that your partner can take on may help, or reorganising some aspects of your week so you’re not thinking tasks all week but have a day or window dedicated.
i remember even giving my husband the simple task of preparing my eldest daughter swimming bag the day before. Sounds so menial but it was a task I was carrying, yes it was annoying to tell him but it was only the once when I sat down and said please taken on x y z tasks.

also if it’s sensory overload or repeating yourself that’s tough- try task charts for your eldest saying eat wash teeth etc and perhaps earplugs when things are getting overwhelming

how old are your kids?

youre not alone in this, others have experienced it too. I’m pleased to say that my youngest is now almost 2 and that chapter was a long time ago, and it really was a phase. Give yourself grace, it’s something you want to change.

anitarielleliphe · 14/07/2025 00:02

lavenderdinosaur · 13/07/2025 19:38

Well, I have my mum who helps out a lot with my eldest- picking her up from school sometimes and taking her to her clubs a couple of times a week. Her dad isn’t in the picture really, he sends me money but apart from seeing her once every few months doesn’t help out with any of her school work, clubs etc.
we all live together with my partner and our baby, and my partner is… ok? I guess? He’s a good dad to our baby but all of the general admin and mental load is left to me for both kids- he’s not really a very involved stepdad unfortunately
just writing this out makes my heart hurt, I tried to do everything to make my eldest happy and secure and feel so keenly that I’m falling short sometimes because she deserves better
im running myself ragged trying to create this family dynamic and it’s killing me, but my partner won’t see my eldest as his responsibility and to be honest with the baby he won’t feed her for example until I point out she needs feeding
whenever my eldest needs anything she only asks me and I have to be this go between her and her stepdad… then the vast majority of care of the youngest also falls on me!
im starting to feel resentful, we bought a gorgeous house together and were financially secure, my eldest finally has a sibling but it still feels so fractured to me and I feel run ragged trying to uphold this family dynamic that doesn’t work and exhausts me and I end up shouting and angry
maybe it is depression, I feel completely unconfident in my parenting abilities atm I just feel like a shell of myself, a husk thats been dried out
i feel like I need to run away for a year, go into intensive therapy and maybe only then I will feel ok

I just responded to another thread with similar root causes (a partner/husband who is not enough support and fails to perform enough active role in child-rearing).

Try this thought exercise to gain perspective . . . what would happen if you changed behavioral roles? Specifically, how would you be viewed by your husband, parents, siblings, in-laws, etc. if you were the "more" hands-off parent and spouse in your marriage? For example, consider:

. . . if you did not get up in the middle of the night to feed your baby, but had your husband do that with a bottle, instead?
. . . if you did not immediately see to the wet diaper that needed to be changed, day or night, but just slept through the cries, left the room to do another task, or ignored it in favor of giving your phone attention?
. . . if you did not feed the baby or change him/her until your husband pointed out to you that the wailing baby needed attention?
. . . if you didn't carry the knowledge of birthdays, holidays and the follow-through to react to those with planning, gift-buying, scheduling, inviting, and reminding your spouse to "show up"?
. . . if you did not see to it that every need of your school-aged child was met in terms of supplies, clothes, homework, clubs, communications with teachers, etc., and just assumed that your spouse would take care of it?
. . . and continue this exercise with everything you do for your children, your husband and your spouse . . .

I would imagine the answer to these questions and more is that the people in your life would think you were either crazy, selfish, inept, lazy, a terrible parent, a terrible spouse . . . BUT . . . they would not ascribe those same things to your husband . . . ever.

WHY? Because eons where society (both men and women) have accepted outdated, unfair and misogynistic social norms still perpetuate to promote the notion that men are to provide financially for the family, and give some small measure of attention to their children when it does not interfere with their own personal needs, which gets them off the hook to be equal partners in the marriage, the household duties, and the rearing of children (including their physical, emotional and intellectual needs), while women do all of that, and many are required to work as well.

And, of course, we haven't even talked about women's responsibilities when it comes to taking care of aging parents, which will include her own and her husband's.

Now, of course, there are plenty of men which break this mold, and many that have been doing so for generations because, as you can see, their fathers and mothers modeled a more equal division of labor and child-rearing for them.

What are the benefits to a new view of equal responsibility for home and children amongst partners?

  1. Better marriages for one because one parent is not made to feel burned out, used, and taken for granted.
  2. Children that have better relationships with both parents because they see that both parents can be "fun," but will also take care of their needs and provide discipline. When parents cooperate in this fashion it nearly eliminates a child's impulse to play the parents against each other.
  3. A better transition from active parenting to empty nesters, where the parents still enjoy each other's company and because each parent acted as a team, each parent's own personal needs are more likely to be met, which include personal time to indulge hobbies, friendships, etc. Women who do it all with little support from their parents often fall apart when their kids fly from the nest because they have always made all of their time about their family.

And finally, it is not too late to change your own family role norms. It is not too late to open the eyes of the partner that falls short.

JG24 · 14/07/2025 20:21

If you're still on maternity leave why don't you switch to shared parental leave. You could go back to work and have some time to yourself (well working!) and your partner would be the carer for your baby and it would hopefully balance things out between you

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