What type of school would you choose if….

[Edenmum2]

…you have a slightly shy child and were worried about her making the transition?

DD is starting nursery in sept at age 3, she will do a couple of days an week until she starts school next year. Up until now she has been with me every day. Parents babysit sometimes but only for short periods. She’s super happy and is always excited around other kids but she’s just very attached to me and used to having me as her safety net etc.

In this scenario would you choose a primary school that was small (1 class per year) tight knit community feel, or a much larger school which may be more overwhelming but potentially would build her confidence? I love the small school but am I just being romantic? Are they always better? They both have the same ofsted rating, I don’t think there’s a massive difference in quality, just size.

any thoughts?

I’d always pick the smaller school (as long as they were both good quality schools).

You don’t need to decide yet do you? See how nursery goes, and how she is by say November. She will change a lot and you will know a lot more about how she is in social groups by then. You can also ask the nursery staff for their view, as they will see her in a group setting.

Smaller school. Would choose that for an extrovert child too.

We went for a 1 class per year school for our shy dd. So glad we did. Both our girls are known by everyone on staff, not just their names but really known. They've both made a group of close friends in their own classes and some friends in the year below too. Its a really lovely school community and they feel like they belong.

A small school where she feels safe is more likely to build up her confidence than a big school where she feels overwhelmed.

Issues with smaller schools:

1. smaller friendship pool. Especially if there is an unequal boy/girl split in her class (yes I know she can be friends with boys but it doesn’t often work that way in reality, sadly)

2. viability. The birth rate is dropping and schools are being closed due to lack of primary age kids. I would be worried that a small school might be more likely to close.

Can you afford private? Smaller classes

Small schools sound lovely but the downsides are limited friendship opportunities and less funding which is likely to have a knock on effect on how many extras can be offered.

Our infant and junior schools are big (3 and 4 form entry) and another benefit is wherever we go, whatever club dc do, there is usually a familiar face.

Thank you yes this my feeling at the moment. But lots of good points from other posters too. She’s definitely changing all the time so hard to predict what her confidence levels will be next September! Instinctively just love the idea of small school but I realise there may be benefits to larger ones.

there’s not much middle ground in my area, there are a few nice really small ones and a couple of very large academies, so it feels like a big choice.

I would always choose the smaller school no matter what sort of child I had. I think most 3 year olds are shy. Both of mine absolutely were at 3 and they are confident and outgoing now at primary and secondary age. That has much more to do with how we’ve parented them than where they went to school, but school hasn’t had a negative traumatic impact either.

Generally, in my experience, the boisterous, loud, outgoing 3 year olds have had more struggles in school with poor boundaries and behavioural issues. So I wouldn’t be too worried about a toddler who is “shy”. They are very little still and meant to be shy at that age.