3 year old not falling asleep alone with second on the way

[Belle2210]

My almost 3 year old always fell asleep no problem on her own from a baby. Coming up a year ago, staff at her nursery began standing at the door to the nap room which she had apparently asked them to do. I wasn't informed about this until I asked after it started at home. Since then she has needed someone to sit in the chair in her room until she is asleep. This can take from 10 mins to over an hour. My issue is I am due my second in September and have a husband who works away so juggling bedtime will be an issue. She sometimes will wake when I sneak out and the process starts again or if she wakes through the night she again looks at her chair to see if one of us is there. Leaving her alone she absolutely bawls. Shes very chill in general but in that situation its the worst crying from her i've ever heard. I tried in the beginning to role with it and let her cry a bit but it made no difference she would just get more hysterical so now we have this sleep routine sitting in her room. I know this is really common as I was exactly the same as a child. Frustrating though when she never had this issue prior to the change made at nursery.

Looking for advice on getting her back to sleeping alone and also how to juggle this kind of bedtime with a second child in the mix too!

Just give her the reassurance she is looking for. She will settle in her own time, though many young children regress to an extent once a new baby comes along and may well want more reassurance at that point.

When the baby is born, you can wear him/her in a sling while you sit with your daughter at bedtime, and the baby will most likely fall asleep that way. Sorry that's not much help but these things tend to fall into place

You can try all the usual ways but you can't control this, so to make things less stressful for you it might be best to have a plan for if she is still unable to fall to sleep alone. It's not unusual, lots of young kids find the process of transitioning into and out of sleep quite scary.

The change at nursery was a response to a change in her, rather than the cause of the change.

Agree with the other posters. Just roll with it, have baby in a sling or on boob whilst settling the 3 year old to sleep. I had a 3 year age gap too, it could be a stressful juggle at bedtimes but it's not forever and they just eventually grow out of needing you so much.

To add, as I've just noticed you said she wakes during the night too and needs you, I co slept with both of mine because my eldest was the same. Me in the middle of the (superking) bed, newborn to one side in a next to me crib and the 3 year old the other side. Ignore any nonsense about making a rod for your back, you're solo parenting a newborn and a toddler so sleep is the priority. Just get through the first few months however you can.

Neither of mine would fall asleep on their own at only 3. Dh and I each took one for bedtime. Or on days when he was away or still at work, I fed and held baby while I sat in with her. Then did bedtime for baby after.