Why shy?

[Wrinkleswrinklesandmorewrinkles]

My four year old child is reasonably outgoing in personality. He is with me quite a lot, sees other family and friends, and goes to preschool.

When I am not there, I’ve never heard a comment that he is shy / won’t talk to the adults. When I am there, he often comes across as ‘shy’ in some social situations (eg when talking to adults, never around other children).

Is it something I’ve done wrong to make him insecure?! Usually it’s the other way around isn’t it?! I realise I may be overthinking but just wondering!

Thanks!!

That’s quite normal and healthy. He’s feeling out a social situation, probably with people he doesn’t know well or who don’t engage with him like children do. I’d actually be happy that he’s cautious. You don’t really want a 4 year old who will talk to, engage with or go off with any adult. He is probably just naturally a bit quiet and more of a listener, which will be a real asset as he gets a bit older.

No, nothing wrong with him. He may be introverted and find it overwhelming. Nothing wrong with that at all. He’s only 4. He’ll be fine.

Thanks for replying @Coolpotatoface and @mindutopia I did think it was reasonable for him to be seeking support with navigating social situations. Someone mentioned to me that their child was outgoing when they were around but shy when not and it meant I ended up questioning myself! They are all so different aren’t they, and we all just want to get it right don’t we. Thanks again!