DD behind the curve without smartphone

[LancashireSquirrel]

DD is in Y6, doesn't have a smartphone, doesn’t want one, so my questions is not about her having or not having a smart phone.

I have noticed that she’s behind the curve on some trends, music etc because most of her peers spend all day on tik tok.

Those of you with children sans smartphone, do you keep them up to date in any other way? Newsround? She was hearing children at school singing a song which I presume was from something like Minecraft but she didn’t know what it was. I don’t want her to have a smartphone but worried she will be left behind…

Im a bit of a dinosaur myself so I’m not much help!

Any advice?

I don't know the answer, and I hate smartphone even for my adult self, but I always remember the girl at school who was very religious and had never seen The Simpson and stuff like that when we were at school (which was a big deal in the 90s), and although no one was mean to her, she did end up getting left out a lot because she didn't understand any of our references.

Maybe you could let her see some pre-approved stuff on your phone or tablet occasionally, but if she's not interested, then maybe she won't be bothered if she doesn't know about the stuff her friends are into.

Yes I could do that, good idea. She has never asked and is completely uninterested, but does seem curious when her peers mention certain things if that makes sense. I wouldn’t even know where to start!

You could make sure she's bang up to date with other things eg take her to see all the new releases at the cinema, keep an eye on the charts and play some relevant stuff at home and in the car. Take her to concerts! Make sure she has a decent gaming system like a Switch.

What a lucky girl to want an old school experience of childhood. She could teach her mates a thing or two!

I wouldn’t worry, not all dc are interested in latest trends, my dd2 was never interested in what the crowd did and grew up just fine, she had access to tech and wasn’t interested in the fashions instead she liked different music, movies etc and now grown tells me about the latest folk music she’s discovered! Let her be herself, she’s only young

My DD1 also doesn’t want a phone - just finishing YR6, and will go into secondary without one

She does chat and meet with her friends over Google / Google meets (on chromebook she uses for homework), has a switch, gets a weekly magazine (the week Junior), can access a music subscription service, goes to the cinema with friends etc

It’s better for her not to have one. Having to constantly try to keep up and discover what’s the next big thing. She avoiding a lot of bull crap

Thank you everyone!

What a lovely thing to say, thank you ☺️

She doesn’t have a games console either but considering a switch for Xmas…

Let her be herself. The longer she is carefree and not chasing the latest trend the better. She sounds great. My oldest is similar. I'm sure they'll want the latest stuff when they're a bit older.

This is a great idea. She’s doesn’t need tiktok to stay up to date

Was it the Lava Chicken song from Minecraft? Or a lot of kids are into what is called "Italian Brainrot", which are deliberately nonsense videos online. Ballerina Cappuccina and the like. I agree it's not a bad thing to not want to have a smart phone and spend all your time online, but equally yes like a previous poster said, if you don't understand any of the cultural references and injokes that your classmates are making you're always going to come off as a bit different and separate. When you were a teenager how much of your chat with friends was about the latest TV show or film or the sort of music you all liked and quoting jokes from Friends or The Simpsons or whatever. Does she have any slightly older cousins or friends kids who could maybe introduce her to some of the more harmless and mainstream jokes and memes? It may be worth having a bit of a search online for things like "Gen Alpha trends" just so you can be aware and answer questions if she's coming home saying idk why everyone is going on about mewing or saying what the sigma and I feel a bit left out.

Before smartphones, kids learned the musics in the charts from the radio. Do you have it on in the car or in the background at home?

My 10 yo has no phone but seems to know a lot of this stuff anyway, I think the routines get passed along at the playground. Maybe from kids with older siblings, who knows.

Do you have a TV that you can watch YouTube on? Or a computer she can watch it on in a family room where you can easily monitor what she's watching? If she wants she can look up music videos and other stuff her friends might be seeing on tiktok etc. My DD (13) has a smartphone but YouTube is blocked on it (as well as Snapchat, Facebook, WhatsApp and tiktok). She only watches YouTube on the TV or laptop in the lounge so we can monitor it without being intrusive.

Other than that, radio, cinema, playing Spotify on your phone in the car etc, getting an age appropriate news magazine or having actual newspapers she can read would definitely help her with awareness of the wider world.

@LancashireSquirrel Not all kids with smartphones use social media and streaming platforms.

We don’t allow YouTube, TikTok etc. no social media despite a smart phone… what we do do is have Radio 1 on in the car. The kids are bang up to date with music. And we take them to the cinema so they know the songs from Minecraft etc. Also have family Spotify controlled by the adults to play music at home. Oldest DC watches tv programs that are age appropriate that they’ve heard friends reference at school. That’s more than enough for them.

When they get to secondary school you’ll be feeling very very very pleased (read: secretly quite smug) that your DC is away from all the social media shitstorms that will inevitably unfold and the discussions about it all on the parents WhatsApp groups.

ah yes - having Spotify and Capital Radio on in the car has definitely meant DD knows the songs of the moment.

When I was a kid there was a boy in my class who didn't have a tv at home. We all thought he was weird.

He's now a multi multi millionaire.

Capital radio is a good idea, thank you. We’re more of a radio2 house but Capital is a good idea. I can’t bear the thought of R1!

I don’t think comparisons with ‘no tv’ are fair. Op’s daughter is not completely shielded from popular culture.
Also, when we were children we had more common popular knowledge because we were exposed to the same one or two things. There are trends on tiktok etc but it’s ok if you don’t know all of them as there’s so many of them.

In op’s daughter’s case she may not know that song but she knows of Minecraft, and I actually think many children are the same. They just learn it all from each other. My dc played adequately lots of games referencing to stuff which he’s never seen (five nights at Freddie’s?!).