Neighbours moaning about children

[Westcountrybaby]

Hi hope everyone is well.

So my neighbours aren't the biggest fans of us since we moved in two years ago.
We have a now 5 year old and 2 year.
When we first moved in they were obviously alot younger and I understand the noise probably sometimes was abit of a pain as both so little.

Now they're 5 and nearly 2 and yes they still do make noise and are up at 6.30am everyday bit they've got to get ready for breakfast club at school and nursery as I leave for work at 6 30am and my wife's got to get buses to get them to two differently places for 8am then nursery for 8.15ish and her work form9am.
But generally the noise I wouldn't say is anything abnormal. Yes sometimes they have a meltdown here and there, toddler used to be alot worse but getting better etc but generally out house and both in bed by 7.30-8pm and toddler wakes up once at 5am for about 1 min then back to bed till 6.30ish. And when it comes to noise we dotell them to keep noise down if too early or too late and no loud shouting or screaming (sometimes listen, sometimes don't unfortunately)

Anyway, my wife called me today at 3.30pmish after she got them picked up and had them in garden playing in paddling pool for about 15-30 mins they were laughing and gigglying, my wife said they were hardly loud just young kids having fun in theit garden in summer. one of the neighbours however shouted over the fence to keep the noise down. My wife said she was in disbelief and didn't really know what to say.

I told my wife to tell them to bore off as 3.30pm bur my wife's unsure

Their have been a few times they've made comments about noise ( daughters cough one time kept them.up all night once, they havent had a lay in in 2 years( i havent had one in 5!😄) and many othe5 things and I've come round with a card and chocolates to post through letter box a few times now but as the days have gone on i feel like they may have unrealistic standards of noise considering its a semi detached house, play park behind house,school.up the road, child minders house a few doors down (which they always hate and moan about as heard them go kn about it a few times in garden)

Tbh I don't really know what I'm asking for lol

What's everyone else opinion on this?

*nearly 3 i ment

You need to keep them quiet in the mornings.
As long as they weren't screeching or shouting in the paddling pool, that's not a problem.
But it sounds like your neighbours have been worn down by continual noise.

"they havent had a lay in in 2 years( i havent had one in 5!😄) "
Er they are your kids not the neighbours, also it's not a competition.
Why not just accept that your neighbours are more sensitive to noise for whatever reason and be understanding.
Doesn't mean you did anything wrong but just have some understanding. Claiming that it's fine in your opinion it's irrelevant as you're not the one complaining.
So make at least some effort to get your kids to be quiet in the morning, perhaps you can change the order they do things or use another room for getting dressed. And if a it all fails or there are no good options then at least you can tell your next door that you tried!

They are in a semi detached house, presumably with lots of other houses around them? Some noise is inevitable from other people. Your children should be allowed to have fun in a paddling pool at 3 in the afternoon. They are at nursery during the day and asleep by 8. I’d try to get them to keep the noise down early in the morning but otherwise crack on. The neighbours can get earplugs or go live in the pine forest if they want total silence

The problem is once you’ve created a negative space for someone in their home with a lot of noise. You’ve made yourself a trigger. So the amount of time it takes to wind them up will get less. My Mother got bombarded by techno till early hours a few years ago. It got to the point where even the noise of them slamming their door sent her over the edge. I’m sure if you look on the internet there will be advice on how to stop being a trigger to them. Perhaps set a timetable or something. Luckily my mums neighbours were so hated by everyone they just moved out.

We have noise sensitive neighbours..... I think hard luck, your children are playing in their garden mid afternoon, I'd ignore ir just did and smile.

Normal family noise from a normal family home!

No way would I stop children playing in their own garden at 3pm.

They’ll have to get over themselves!

You might think it’s normal family noise but if your children are particularly noisy and screamy then it’s awful for those having to put up with it, especially if they work from home or are shift workers trying to get sleep.

Do you ever tell your DC to use indoor voices? Do you have empathy and consideration for your neighbours? I think if people know you’re at least trying to keep the noise down they’re more likely to be tolerant of it. If you do fuck all and just let your kids scream and shout unnecessarily then I’m afraid you’re a bad neighbour.

6.30? Be careful they aren't saving up to pay a sniper...

While I think they are unreasonable and some noise in the garden is fine your comment about lie ins has bugged me.

So what if you haven't had a lie in in years. They're your kids not your neighbours.

Children will make noise. It's their home. They're allowed to laugh and screech and it's inevitable they'll have a meltdown at some point.

If you can't cope with people, move house to a detached one in the middle of nowhere. Your neighbours are entirely unreasonable.

You haven’t had a lie in for 5 years because you chose to have children. They haven’t had a lie in for 2 years because you chose to have children. Can you really not see the difference?

People have children. If those neighbours don't want to risk being woken up by children making normal household noise, they need to buy a detached house.

We live in an Edwardian terrace with thicker walls than most modern houses and even we can sometimes hear our neighbors and vice versa. On a summer afternoon or evening, of course people are out in their gardens playing/talking/laughing, why wouldn’t they be ?

Personally, I think that your neighbors are unrealistic not to expect noise in a semi, If one of them gets a cough, your family’s also going to hear it. One of neighbors tends to sneeze loudly and I can hear him!

Obviously ignore them shushing you in the garden at 3pm, that's nuts but one thing stood out to me:
toddler wakes up once at 5am for about 1 min then back to bed till 6.30ish
are you saying that every morning your toddler wakes and cries/makes a loud noise at 5am? Because, even if only for a minute, that.would drive me absolutely insane if I lived next door

And what exactly can OP do about it? I have a 10 month old that last night woke at 5 am too. He wakes between 4 and 5am every day. I got him back to sleep but what exactly do you expect people to do? Babies cry. They all cry. They all wake in the night. Regularly. Into toddlerhood. Actually, only ONE wake up a night from a baby is good going.

He had hand foot and mouth last week and you know what? He screamed for 3 days straight. Absolutely inconsolable.

And when he's teething? Wakes around every 2 hours. Screaming. Because he's in pain and he's a baby. Sometimes he goes straight back to sleep. Sometimes he keeps crying in my arms because he's in pain and he's a baby.

I won't even tell you how much he cried when he was a newborn because I don't even want to revisit those memories.

People have babies.

Babies cry.

Kids make noise.

Move if you don't like it.

Luckily my next door neighbour is a paedetrician and is probably immune to this kind of noise because I know he can hear it but he continues to be very nice to us.

3pm is reasonable is giggling and having fun, loud noise daily at 6.30am is not. I’m in a terraced house and I can’t hear my 3year old neighbour before 9am at earliest because her parents don’t allow her to be noisy before that (and we only hear her at 9am because it’s hot, she’s outside and our window is open

I don’t see a problem with children playing in a paddling pool in the afternoon if they were just laughing rather than screaming and shrieking, but it’s totally unreasonable if they are making a noise loud enough to disturb your neighbours at 6.30 am. As a previous poster said, maybe the neighbour reacted angrily this afternoon because it was the final straw after being disturbed by your children every morning at 5 or 6.30 30.

As the quiet neighbour, it’s annoying. I can’t use my garden in summer because the neighbours kids are shrieking at the top of their lungs all evening. Another neighbour has a dog that barks constantly at 3am. It’s not hard to be considerate. I’m considering taking up the drums just so they get a taste of their own noise. My own child never shrieks or screams as I’ve always discouraged this behaviour. I think some parents become deaf to the noise.

I have 2 kids under 4, I am well aware that babies cry. I just thought OP breezed over that point when that could be a big part of why the neighbours are feeling aggrieved.
Thanks for your super aggressive and condescending response though 👌

@Westcountrybaby that is normal kid noise, if people complain, they are being unreasonable. If you don't like noise don't stay is a built up area. I would just ignore them. Yes it can be annoying but that is life, and yiur kids are allowed to havd carefree days playing in their garden.

I just think if you live in a semi you have to expect noise. It’s just life. I would try and encourage as much quiet as possible first thing, but other than that I think you can just live your lives. Playing in the garden at 3.30 is not something a reasonable person can complain about.